Life Perspective

Unsettled Brain

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It is 3AM and I am wide awake since 1… so many thoughts going through my head, lots of issues, globally, locally, and within me and not a one of them do I have answers for. Oh dear.

My brain seems to want to go over every possible scenario. Funny because in the past when my brain has thought it has covered it all, life and situations never unfold in any of the ways that my brain has rehearsed. Time moves on and life will happen according to God’s plan not mine.

A man’s heart plans his way,
But the Lord directs his steps.
Proverbs 16:9

Day is Done

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“Day is done; gone the sun, from the lakes, from the hills, from the sky. All is was well, safely rest, God is nigh. “

Well here we are on election eve. I voted but I still find myself afraid she/he will or she/he won’t!

What an awful place to find one’s self. No certainty or strong assurance in either candidate.

Praying that win or lose the hype of all the past year is just hype. That the negative about either candidate does not ring true once they enter office. Praying that they they will enter office with solemn commitment to serve all of the people with a humility and an understanding of the great responsibility the people have entrusted to them.

Praying that we have not become so far divided that we cannot connect and find a mutual respect and understanding with one another.

Finally, I am praying that God is indeed nigh, that he has his eye and blessing still on us. That we will remain the beacon of light that draws people from all corners of the earth to our shores.

Above and Beyond

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With all the negative press regarding law enforcement officers, I’d like to give shout of praise to one special officer my life.

All the police officers I know have huge hearts. They don’t always wear them so they are visible to all… Mostly they have tough exteriors but soft and sweet interiors.

This special officer is my son a LEO in Colorado. He is a detective and part of his job is handling elder abuse cases. Recently he was sent some information on an elderly lady who officers met due to call at her residence. When the officers were there they noticed the lady had a rotten floor in front of her doorway and wondered if Aaron knew someone that could help her get it fixed.

He made some calls and got a donation from Home Depot and he went over on his own time and repaired her stairs and her floor.

As he got to know the lady, he realized she had been living in this home in Colorado for 44 years and for the past four years without a furnace.

He found someone to donate a furnace. Because she had no furnace, her pipes had frozen and she also had no water. He also located a company to donate the repair.

Her roof leaked, he found someone to fix her roof.

Relatives that were taking advantage of her over the years, had left junk all over house he organize teams of volunteers to help clean it up.

Then he organized donations for new carpet and new appliances,

All this was done over past month, he worked on his days off to help her.

Law enforcement is a tough job. Everyone should walk their walk a few miles to fully understand the challenges and rewards.

PS: I did not get approval to tell his story. He’d never seek accolades on his own. I’m claiming Mother’s privilege. 😍

Views and Beliefs

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I am a person of faith and as such I am called to live by a certain set of standards. Anything below those standards is sin. Do I fail there? Yes, daily. Daily I am a failure and a sinner.

Now comes the difficult thing to explain to others who are respectable, responsible, moral, law abiding, loving friends, family and acquaintances who do not understand my views.

First of all, I do not presume to speak for God. He has set forth guidelines and commandments for living. These guidelines are for those who accept to follow. I do not believe I have to force these onto my neighbors, friends or family. These are not my rules but God’s rules given to his people.

Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself. On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets. —Matthew 22:35-40.

So God’s commandment firstly, is to love him with all my heart, soul and mind. Secondly, love my neighbor… All my neighbors, not just my fellow believing neighbors. In that effort, “in as much as it is up to me, I will try to live in peace with everyone. ” Romans 12:18

In doing that do I agree with everything my neighbor does? No, not at all. In cases, where my neighbors’ lifestyle is contradictory to mine, I just do not engage. Where we have common ground, I enjoy and fellowship with them.

However, social issues that have been front and center the past few months appear to have forced a paralyzing wedge between my views and the views of some of you. Although, many are unaware because there is a fear to speak as the unspoken mantra is, “Accept this view. In fact accept and rejoice in it, or remain silent.” If not, you will be labeled a bigot.

So here is my view:

As a civil rights issue, equal rights to all, on a government level, I say let the government issue marriage licenses to all. If they are talking about marrying according to a state ‘ordained’ union then let the state do what the majority wants. However, I respect and honor the principals of God. So when it comes to forcing those views on churches or religious institutions, to go against their values, to perform God ordained marriages against their religious beliefs. that’s where I believe that freedom ends.

Why should they be demonized because they are holding their beliefs? Isn’t religious freedom one of the founding principals?

I have in my family, homosexuals and transgender individuals. I do not judge them, I do not force my faith or views on them. I love them, not whatever their lifestyle, beliefs or political causes may be. Hopefully they feel the same of me.

I do not even take a view of homosexuality as right or wrong. I do not have all the answers of what makes up the essence of who people are. My hope and prayer is that God has the answers and reasons for each of us; he knows each of us more intimately than we know ourselves and he is a just and loving God to all of his creation.

Now comes the paradox. I may find, among my believing friends those who will call me a heretic, and say I am living with a foot in both worlds. I am fallen away, not religious enough or simply misguided. I suppose by definition I could be one or more of those.

To them, I ask you pray for me, as it appears God has put in me a questioning spirit. I desire to be an example of God’s love as he leads me. My hope and prayer for myself is that it will all become clear and I will understand my own journey and trials one day.

I guess what I am asking is for the same respect all are asking; for tolerance of opposing views. I hear you and respect you; I ask only the same consideration in return.

19 June 2015 at 8:31

Holiday Spirit Lost

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I am having a really hard time finding the holiday spirit. Where are the 300 young girls that were kidnapped? A few days of news and we moved on. How many people have been beheaded? Horror at the first one then successively our shock and outrage has waned. Planes shot down, planes never found; not even a scrap of metal. Worshippers brutally stabbed inside their synagogue. Children slaughtered. Anger, hate, anger, hate everywhere — I cannot be consoled by holiday lights and trimmings. The sorrow is burning deep in my heart.

We feed off the sensationalization of it all, but move on like it was yesterday’s a bad weather. Real evil exists in people and groups and they are actively plotting their next move. Real evil!

I long for peace.

Health Coverage…It’s a big stinking mess!!

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I just read that pre-Affordable Healthcare Act 48 million Americans (approx 15% of the population) had no health insurance.  According to the CBO by 2023 ( ten years) there will still be 31 million uninsured people. 

    From Huffington Post: “In the first year of the Obamacare coverage expansion, 14 million people will gain health insurance, the Congressional Budget Office projected in May. By 2023, there will be 25 million fewer Americans without health insurance than if the law had not been enacted, although 31 million will remain uninsured, according to the CBO.”

I believe everyone should have access to health coverage and limiting preexisting conditions is a good idea. Could there have been a better way?  According to the Census Bureau the number of people who lost coverage because of the ACA  is about 4 percent of Americans, which comes to about 11 million people. Some claim these lost policies are all cheap lousy policies that offered little or no protection. Not true for us and our 7 employees. We are losing our 90/10 copay policy with $500 deductible and maximum out-of-pocket of $2500. Don’t see anything close to that on the exchange.

So again I ask why? Why did we turn everything upside down for the benefit of approx 6% of the population. It seems there could have been a better way.  Why not put the requirements on Insurance companies to eliminate pre-existing conditions, why not limit profits or better yet why aren’t insurance companies non-profitable.

It is just sad to see some in Washington DC calling people liars when they (the People) say they are losing very good insurance policies, that their premiums, their deductibles and out-of-pocket maximum are doubling.  It is true.  I know many people it is happening to.  Once again the burden is going to fall to the middle-class: low income people are going to get coverage for near nothing, the rich don’t really care what they have to pay (doesn’t affect them), but the middle class are seeing their premiums reach unaffordable levels and many are just going to pay the fine and roll the dice.

I have some friends that immigrated from another country with a national health program.  They have told me they were appalled when they came here and they would see collection jars in stores to help people pay for their serious health issues.  After all this,  with still 31 million people uninsured in 10 years,  those jars aren’t going away anytime soon.

I don’t have all the answers but it seems this whole mess has everybody’s knickers in a twist for a net-gain of insured people that amounts to 6% of the population.

My Mind’s Wanderings

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For the past few days sitting quietly contemplating the events of the past two weeks, I have tried fitting the pieces into place. Where the huge decision that was faced two weeks ago was to commit to the Remicade treatment. How insignificant that decision seems now. Only three days later my son was facing major surgery and a few days after that a second surgery and then third surgery to control bleeding – to the point his life was in the balance.

When the bleeding started again three days later he again was rushed to ICU. There nurse Steve was methodically checking drains, monitoring his heart rate, drawing blood. Inside I was panicking, remembering Friday evening, wondering why they weren’t starting the transfusions because Friday it had taken so long to get the blood it seemed life was ticking away.

I, trying to remain calm, said to Steve, “you know from this side it looks like nothing is happening.”

He reassured me. He said that they had the blood type on hand, that if he needed they could get it within minutes, that they want to check the hematocrit levels, monitoring the rate of output on the drains, access whether the bleeding was slowing — do things carefully and in timely manner. Make sure every decision is based on the least risk to my son’s health. In the end, they did give him more plasma and blood; and with that the bleeding stopped.

So I’m here thinking about all of these things and I hear my words to Steve; “From this side it looks like nothing is happening.”

I think sometimes I do the same thing with God. I pray about situations, the future, what God’s plans are for my life and sometimes from this side it appears nothing’s is happening; but I understand that even though it appears that nothing is happening, God is in control. He knows all the details of our lives. He knows all the pieces that must fit together perfectly. He knows when we need life sustaining blood and when more extreme intervention is needed. He also knows when we just need to wait as he watches our vitals, checks where we are losing strength and then he refills us.

6 June 2013 at 17:59

Sometimes it is Just Over

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Stop dancing with ghosts. Yesterday is dead: bury it and be done with it. ~ Me

The truth is not always welcome ~ I have generally operated on the premise, I would rather keep quiet than to continue to fuel the flame.

Recently, I spoke out against an unwarranted attack, and was met with a vicious and vile response; so better now to just walk away.

Sad but when you’ve extended your heart and it has been stomped on, why go back and let it be cut up into little pieces.

People come into ones life for a reason, season or a lifetime. I have just ended a season ~ that existed for a reason ~ it appears it was not meant for a lifetime.

It doesn’t make it feel any better but it’s time to move on. It’s just sad…