mothers

New Mission in Life

emyloom Leave a comment

I have just left Texas where I had to tell my mom that she could no longer live on her own. It has been a long time coming. For years she has refused to leave her home…she wanted to die there. After falls, midnight drives to nowhere, days of confusion, not a taking her medicine and finally falling and fracturing her pelvis, I have accepted that it is not safe and borders on neglect to let her stay there. I live 2200 miles away and have made 4 trips a year to help and try and manage from a distance.

A small Texas town she has lived for 45 years. She has a compassionate and caring doctor, friends and church family around her and the doctor told me it was best for her to stay in Texas.

A friend sent the link to this beautiful video last week, I just opened it. I am here alone at the office and tears are flowing down my face. A beautiful portrayal of the love between parent and child. I don’t know how well I’ve done, but I know I have tried to be the safe place my mom could fall.

It is an odd feeling. I am dismantling my mother’s life, her possessions, her accounts and her home while she is still living. We talked on Sunday and she told me she feels at peace, I hope and pray that is true. I have walked through every emotion, anger, frustration, sadness, confusion and resignation.

Last week when I was there, the local florist who we know very well, lost his mom. He told me that when he came to sit with his mom at night he would find my mom sitting outside her door at 1 AM praying and reading her bible.

I told my mom that God still has a mission for her.

https://www.godtube.com/watch/?v=11FMBFNU

Raindrops and Tears

emyloom Leave a comment

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A grey rainy drizzly day and I’m all tucked in my nest reflecting on the the year nearly finished and season ahead.

Mindlessly I switch the TV to a movie, ‘My Sister’s Keeper.” It was loosely based on a story about the family who conceived a daughter to save their older daughter who had leukemia. In that family everything turned out well. In this movie they delved deeper into issues and conflicts of that decision.

There are so many sides to the issue and although I could empathize with the mother in this movie, I could see how she had lost her way through this familiar battle.

When you have a child at deaths door, you never want to give up. You are the warrior. You will do whatever it takes to fight for your child. You will stand guard. You will search for every medical intervention. You will stand your ground with nurses and doctors. You will repeat your child’s story over and over until someone hears. You will stay up nights and listen to their every breath. You will not care what the establishment thinks of you. You will never give up hope because the alternative is to painful to face.

This mother had to face the fact that shear will, endurance, strength, love, and denial would not keep her daughter alive.

The tears begin flowing like the rain outside. Not only because it was sad that the daughter died but because the mother, try as she might, after all the years she spent caring, watching, battling, it was not enough. I felt her struggle, her defeat, her helplessness, her loss.

Above and Beyond

emyloom Leave a comment

With all the negative press regarding law enforcement officers, I’d like to give shout of praise to one special officer my life.

All the police officers I know have huge hearts. They don’t always wear them so they are visible to all… Mostly they have tough exteriors but soft and sweet interiors.

This special officer is my son a LEO in Colorado. He is a detective and part of his job is handling elder abuse cases. Recently he was sent some information on an elderly lady who officers met due to call at her residence. When the officers were there they noticed the lady had a rotten floor in front of her doorway and wondered if Aaron knew someone that could help her get it fixed.

He made some calls and got a donation from Home Depot and he went over on his own time and repaired her stairs and her floor.

As he got to know the lady, he realized she had been living in this home in Colorado for 44 years and for the past four years without a furnace.

He found someone to donate a furnace. Because she had no furnace, her pipes had frozen and she also had no water. He also located a company to donate the repair.

Her roof leaked, he found someone to fix her roof.

Relatives that were taking advantage of her over the years, had left junk all over house he organize teams of volunteers to help clean it up.

Then he organized donations for new carpet and new appliances,

All this was done over past month, he worked on his days off to help her.

Law enforcement is a tough job. Everyone should walk their walk a few miles to fully understand the challenges and rewards.

PS: I did not get approval to tell his story. He’d never seek accolades on his own. I’m claiming Mother’s privilege. 😍

A Mother’s Love

emyloom Leave a comment

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If a mother’s love could heal,
No one would ever see
A heart that’s aching for so long
As I can see in thee.

If a Mother’s heart could heal,
The pain would say adieu
The despair and grief would melt away.
Your bright future would shine through.

If a mother’s love could heal,
Wounds would disappear:
Mighty strength would return
And the answers would be clear.

Oh if a Mother’s heart could heal,
I know mine would have done,
Because never has a heart so loved
As I have for you dear son (one).

Emyloom 2013©️

PGB

Mother of Three Sons

Asideemyloom Leave a comment

by Trish B on Monday, 19 September 2011 at 17:07

For over forty-one years
I had a son with me.
First one, then two, then one,
Two briefly and back to one.
A total of three.

They, all three, have never ceased to;
Amaze me, puzzle me, surprise me;
Love me.
They’ve scared me, challenged me,
Pushed me to a level I didn’t think I had the strength to go.

Through the eyes of my sons,
I have learned about every snail in the garden;
That under any rock one might find a salamander,
I’ve seen Lizards and gecko’s found from our backyard and around the world
Beaches are places where we find, crabs, starfish, and little fishes in the pools.

I’ve been a nurse to countless abandoned and injured birds,
Walked the forest to find, the smallest fragment of a robin shell under a tree,
Long-lost feathers from every type of mysterious bird, and
Every acorn, seed pod and piece of drift wood is a treasure.
They’d find the tiniest flowers that I may have over-looked.
Had the careful, watchful eye of a boy, not been beside me.

My sons have had every pet imaginable, from
Stick bugs, to hermit crabs to hedgehogs to Snakes
Goldfish, tropical fish, chickens, ducks and doves.
Hamsters that we mourned when we thought gone, but only hibernating
And once even a grasshopper that came back from CA on the plane.
A handful cats and a couple of dogs that lived long past the boyhood years.

I’ve cheered them on at baseball games,
Served my volunteer time at the concession stand,
Watched football games in the cold;
Soccer in the rain and basketball in the hot gym.
All for enjoyment,
Only to realize to some parents this is a very serious competitive thing.

There have been times of mischief and trouble,
Mistakes forgotten and forgiven.
I’ve seen their hearts broken by girls from the age of 5 to 33;
It never gets any easier boy to man.
Losses from wars, life changing accidents and fate…
Some of those memories still weigh heavy on my heart,
I survived it all, and came out a stronger, maybe a little wiser too.

Some days I wish I could go back;
And be more patient, more understanding, more loving,
Take more time to listen and not be in such a hurry.
That we could play more, talk more.
Some days, I long to just sit and cuddle
With a little boy who thinks I’m his whole world.

Sadly, I can’t have that time back,
I do know that they all love me.
Sometimes they have to put up with me.
Like when I want to be a matchmaker or I fret or worry.
I am the mother of three sons; I am very blessed.

Trish 2011©️