With the deepest love and gratitude, one person I am eternally thankful to is Chrissie. First and foremost, for loving me and my sons; for providing stability, for his hard work, for his generosity to others, for his optimism that never seems to fade, for loving me even when I was unlovable and never giving me reason to doubt that love. His love has helped me to trust again and not fear rejection or loss.
More importantly, I thank God for the big things and the small things in life. I thank him for provision, for showing me again and again that He is ever present. I thank him for the blue sky, for the peacefulness and beauty after the snow, for the multitude of flowers, for the people He has put on my path to help through this journey.
He arranged reconnections that brought parts of my family back together and chance meetings of friends in the most unlikely places. I thank him for the basics of life, food, shelter, friends. I thank Him that even though I toss and turn in my doubts, He never has given up on me.
“Thankful that in this ever changing world there are some things that remain the same and bring balance to my life. Day and night rise and fall; the seasons change, sunshine comes after rain, young people still fall in love, children are born and the old pass away. There is a rhythm and flow to life that encourages me to tune out the noise and remind myself I am not in control of these things but a never changing God is and He never forgets to take care of the details.” ~ Me 11/15/21
Today is officially mine and Chris’s 41st anniversary. Honestly, I cannot comprehend how time has flown by so quickly. When we were first married there were people making bets that it wouldn’t last a year. Well, we just had to prove them wrong! Tovah Feldshuh, American actress, singer and playwright gave this advice on marriage, “You know how to have a successful marriage? Shut one eye, and don’t leave. Some of it’s fun and some of it isn’t. It can be challenging, but you do not leave the field of play.” We are still on the field and here is the rest of the story.
I met Chris at work in August 1982. I was going through a divorce and started a new job at International Ground Support Systems in Denver. They did underground engineering consulting. It was a small company with three engineers, a welder, and two laborers. Chris was one of the engineers and when I started, he was working on a job in Cape Breton Island, Nova Scotia. He would check into the office daily, so we really met over the phone first. He, as anyone that knows him appreciates, is very out going and friendly and he has a great British accent. So naturally, I was instantly curious about this guy.
I had worked there about a month when Chris returned from Canada. The business was in a large metal warehouse and the front part was in a sectioned off into offices. I was in a small cubicle near the door with big windows to the outside and a small reception window inside. The first time I saw him, he came bounding through the front doors. He stopped at the reception window and poked his head through to introduce himself. He looked like he had been on an all night binge. He was disheveled, his clothes were wrinkled and when he smiled it revealed two missing teeth. NOT A ALL HOW I IMAGINED HIM! After he left I thought …hmm, maybe we could be good friends.
I don’t know exactly when my perception changed, but his charm did win me over. I know we were a couple by Thanksgiving because we had a big dinner at his house. There was a small issue though, and it was that technically, Chris was still married.
His English wife had left and gone back to England three years prior when he moved from Virginia to Denver. They had not been in contact for quite a while. Chris wanted to get married but had to locate her and somehow negotiate a long-distance divorce.
I still tease him because at one point he suggested we just get married because no one would know or care. Obviously this was before the internet and everyone’s personal life can be researched worldwide. I politely declined. I told him I did not want someone coming twenty years later and claiming everything and besides that was just wrong and downright illegal!
It did take a while but we were married a year later. I have to say that British charm and accent has opened many doors for Chris. When Josh was little he’d go to the store with Chris and come back to tell me that the lady at the store was flirting with daddy. He’d relate that the lady would say, “Ohhh… I do love your accent.” Seriously, it still happens all the time!
Yeah, the accent and charm may have drawn me in to start with but it is his intelligence, later his faith, his love and the care he gave to me and my kids, his generosity and his passion for helping others that has kept me in love with him. All those physical things I judged him by at first where just temporary surface distractions. Chris has been a loving and devoted husband and we have stayed faithful through the good times and the bad.
My most treasured Valentine card from him wasn’t a card at all but a letter that ends this way…
Slowly, many we love leave us. Then one day we wake up and our dearest is gone too. “That come the twilight should we lose our way If as we’re walking a hand should slip free I’ll wait for you, Should I fall behind Wait for me….” [1] But having loved, we are not alone. We still talk to one another however one cannot hear the answers. At least not out loud. If we look around, we see the signs that, once known, love never dies.
Veterans, today I honor and thank you for serving in defense of our freedoms and the freedom of people all around the world.
I did some research and found that those currently serving in the US Military, all branches, comprises (.4%) less than HALF of ONE PERCENT of the population of the United States. In 1970 during the Vietnam War it was only 1.4%
Today there are 18.2 million veterans living in the US going back to WWII. So total the percent of US citizen still living is just 5.5% of the population.
They truly are, and were, the select, the brave and the few who sacrificed much for the protection and security of the 99% of the rest of us.
They have given of their heart, their soul and shed their blood; they did so for love of their country, with a sense of honor and pride. Their devotion does not fade. They are a noble group, a very small percentage of our population who answered the call to serve.
My promise is to honor and remember everyday and keep them always on my heart and in my prayers.
May God bless you and keep you and protect your heart and mind.
I am up at 2AM perusing Ebay for kitty cat pins. My mom, Patsy, is/was a Texas cat lady extraordinaire. She always had a cat on her lap, in addition she had shelves full of figurines, teapots, cookie jars, bookends and every sort of ceramic cat thing ever made. Mostly all gifts from her friends, kids and grandkids that knew she would “just love them.”
Last year I shared about my mom’s dementia and fall which lead to her being unable to live on her own. I shared about the difficulties of clearing her house. Trying to treat her treasures with respect and knowing I could not keep everything. I took a few cats figurines, my sister took a few, I gave some “Patsy Cats” to her friends, I brought some back to Washington and gave to my friends who had met my mom.“Patsy Cats” were re-homed around the country yet many remained that in the end we donated to charity. It was heartbreaking to dismantle my mother’s possessions and treasures but it had to be done.
When the doctor told her she would not be able to live on her own, my sister and I went out to her house and picked up a few treasures to decorate her room. A book shelf, pictures and several cats to put on the shelves. In addition to all the cats mentioned above, my mom also had a large collection of kitty cat brooches. She had them on her sweaters and blouses and never left the house without being adorned with a golden cat pin. When we were at her house, I found a small metal box, when I opened it I found full of all her brooches.There were at least 20 in there plus all the ones we found still pinned on her sweaters she probably had 40 or more. I took them to her at the home, at least she could have all of these.
Now comes the sad and tragic bit. My mom has been in the nursing home a little over year now and all the pins are gone.A few months ago my sister was going to put one on her sweater as she was taking her to lunch and she couldn’t find the box. She told the staff that her box was missing and they did a search. They found the it in a ladies room next door but only one pin inside. You cannot get angry because like my mom, this lady doesn’t comprehend what is going on.Matter of fact, she insisted that the box was hers.The pins? They could not be found. Are they hidden around the care facility somewhere? Did she give them away? We do not know.
So here I am at 2AM searching Ebay for kitty cat brooches. I thought these things weren’t so much valuable as they were treasures, but apparently not. They are anywhere from 5-30 dollars or more. So I bought five, a couple were similar to ones she owned.I am going to bring them to her when I go down to Texas next month. Whether she realizes she has lost so many is hard to say, but when she sees these she will “just love them!”
Valentines Day: Another one of those holidays people have intense emotions about, both good and bad; I do not feel strongly either way but observe with purpose.
My ‘Valentine’ is away again this year as it quite often happens. No big deal, I’m not heart broken, distraught or tearing my hair out because I didn’t get a hallmark card, roses and a big-hunk-of-love bear!
I don’t want any of those things. I get plenty of things I do want many times throughout the year because my valentine is a person who works very hard and he shares the fruits of his labor with those I love. My family, friends, and people in need. He took a trip to Israel with my Mother, 79, in tow and looked after her with saintly patience; he’s gives generously to help others make a house payments, pay for surgery, legal representation, needed transportation, provide firewood or buy groceries. He doesn’t just give funds he gives of himself. What precious free time he has, he’ll do consulting pro-bono, fix garage doors, help people move, make car repairs, drive little ladies to the doctor or across the pass to comfort someone with a sick family member, and together we are pros at hospital visits.
I didn’t get big red paper heart; I have Valentine with a real heart filled with compassion and love.
When he is in town, we spend valentine’s day sharing love with others; dinner with old friends, widows or those alone. It seems natural to spend this day sharing love with those around us maybe those who are feeling unloved and need to know someone cares.
One of the sweetest Valentines days I can remember was three years ago. Mine was gone and I went across the street for dinner. I quietly read my messages and watched a little girl at the table next to me happily drawing the pink wild roses that were in the vase on the table. Her parents were in deep conversation about their day and I would occasionally glance over as she would finish one drawing and start another attempting to perfect her art. My dinner came, they finished theirs and left. As she walked past me I looked up and we exchanged smiles. I continued with my dinner and a minute later there was a tap on my shoulder and this beautiful little blond was beside me with one of her drawings in hand. She said, ‘Here this is for you,” and with that she skipped off out the door to where here parents were waiting by the car.
My heart melted and I was filled with joy! Yes, she had it! Spreading joy and love to others. Nice on February 14th but beautiful throughout the year.
Emyloom ~ Words Woven Within My Heart 