Love

Every Anniversary is A Step to Healing

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Four years, four years ago today my mom passed from this world to her forever home. I think of her often.

I analyze and reanalyze every significant event from my childhood until the day she passed.

As the years pass, I see more clearly that our relationship was like many other mother/daughter relationships… always evolving, with ups and downs, give and take, frustrations and acceptance.

In the end, I was by her side. I held her hand, I sang hymns to her and I prayed for God to take her home and end her suffering. God answered that prayer on Pentecostal Sunday. The day God sent his Holy Spirit as a comfort to us, he took her home.

I knew her passing was inevitable and I thought was prepared. I thought I had already grieved over the prior few weeks but the moment she passed, I was overwhelmed with unexpected emotions. Our journey was over.

Below is a blog post from several months before she past. I had visited her but because of Covid we had limited visits. In that time, however, we made our peace.

January 2021

No Fight Left … Only Love

I saw my mother yesterday. She was a little confused and in quarantine because of her latest hospital visit. 

Over the years my mother and I have had our shared joy and trials, times when we saw eye-to-eye and many times that we clashed. There were times I felt suffocated and pulled away and times she clung tighter.

The last few years because of her decline into dementia it seemed the clashes were more frequent and heated. I was not-so-affectionately called the “bossyone” In reality, I was trying to enable the very thing she wanted, to remain independent in her home, by making sound decisions and managing her finances. 

An unfortunate fall in 2018 lead her to rehab where she could no longer hide her advancing dementia.

We have been through a process the past three years. Just as infant grows and advances at a rapid pace between birth and four years. It seems dementia takes a turn and in three short years my mothers abilities have declined at a rapid pace.

She had surgery in October and the decline has been even more sharp since then. When I saw her this week she was so frail and helpless, she stared off into space as a newborn does when it is seeing the strange new world for the first time. She found comfort in being held, holding my hand and was soothed by the sound of music – the old hymns she would play for hours. The words to those she has not forgotten.

We have gone from my birth and total dependence, to growing, changing, challenging, disagreements, coming together, growing apart, to facing the honest truth of our relationship. Then it reversed: growing apart, coming together, disagreements, challenging, changing (especially in my views about her illness and motives), to her growing old and total dependence on others.

Now she just wants to be loved, be safe and protected. We have come full circle from the newborn daughter a mother held in her arms 65 years ago to yesterday as a daughter held her innocent elderly mother in her arms.

I braided her hair and put the pearl necklace on her that my auntie sent. Girls should always wear their pearls.

There is no fight left, what is left is only pure love.

Revisiting – No Fight Left ~ Only Love

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In this month of love I am reblogging this post about one of the last sweet visits I had with my mom.

It was a January visit and I came down because she had a brief hospital stay. When she came back to the nursing facility, she had to be an isolation because Covid protocols were still being practiced.

I am so thankful I had these few days with her, even though visits were limited to one hour because of Covid.

After this visit, I came home and did not return until Mother’s Day in May. When I saw her, she had declined dramatically.

We had no conversations, and she was in so much pain and agony. It was hard to see her suffer.

This one day in January was a beautiful final chapter of the era of dementia. It was a healing day for me and it helped me walk with my mother through her final days.

https://emyloomwordswovenwithinmyheart.com/2021/01/10/no-fight-left-only-love/

Released – Eema is There

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I am watching the release of three young women from captivity. The first of the hostages released in the ceasefire deal between Israel and Gaza.

The newscaster comes on and says…the mothers of the three women will be there at the point of release. Suddenly I am overcome with emotion. I try to repeat what he said and I am so choked up I am unable to speak.

Who do they want the most when they are delivered from the hell after 471 days?

Only their mother, their mom, their mum, their Eema. If only for a moment, only she can bring them to a place of peace. Only she can reassure them, hold them so close that they can hear her heart beat. The first heart they heard while still in the womb. Her heart.

I am praying that at the sound of their Eema’s heart they will be overwhelmed with a sense of tranquility that takes them back to the place of security and protection. A time where they knew no horrors, terror or fear.

In their Eema’s heart they knew only love.

“Hebrew media reports that the IDF has asked the mothers of the three hostages to come to a meeting point at a base next to the Gaza border. From there they are to accompany their daughters as they are taken to the hospital.”
The Times of Israel, January 19, 2025

Eema (pronounced EE-muh): Mother; mom; Website: My Jewish Learning

How British Charm Won My Heart: A Love Story

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Today is officially mine and Chris’s 41st anniversary. Honestly, I cannot comprehend how time has flown by so quickly. When we were first married there were people making bets that it wouldn’t last a year. Well, we just had to prove them wrong! Tovah Feldshuh, American actress, singer and playwright gave this advice on marriage, “You know how to have a successful marriage? Shut one eye, and don’t leave. Some of it’s fun and some of it isn’t. It can be challenging, but you do not leave the field of play.” We are still on the field and here is the rest of the story.

I met Chris at work in August 1982. I was going through a divorce and started a new job at International Ground Support Systems in Denver. They did underground engineering consulting. It was a small company with three engineers, a welder, and two laborers. Chris was one of the engineers and when I started, he was working on a job in Cape Breton Island, Nova Scotia. He would check into the office daily, so we really met over the phone first. He, as anyone that knows him appreciates, is very out going and friendly and he has a great British accent. So naturally, I was instantly curious about this guy.

I had worked there about a month when Chris returned from Canada. The business was in a large metal warehouse and the front part was in a sectioned off into offices. I was in a small cubicle near the door with big windows to the outside and a small reception window inside. The first time I saw him, he came bounding through the front doors. He stopped at the reception window and poked his head through to introduce himself. He looked like he had been on an all night binge. He was disheveled, his clothes were wrinkled and when he smiled it revealed two missing teeth. NOT A ALL HOW I IMAGINED HIM! After he left I thought …hmm, maybe we could be good friends.

I don’t know exactly when my perception changed, but his charm did win me over. I know we were a couple by Thanksgiving because we had a big dinner at his house. There was a small issue though, and it was that technically, Chris was still married.

His English wife had left and gone back to England three years prior when he moved from Virginia to Denver. They had not been in contact for quite a while. Chris wanted to get married but had to locate her and somehow negotiate a long-distance divorce.

I still tease him because at one point he suggested we just get married because no one would know or care. Obviously this was before the internet and everyone’s personal life can be researched worldwide. I politely declined. I told him I did not want someone coming twenty years later and claiming everything and besides that was just wrong and downright illegal!

It did take a while but we were married a year later. I have to say that British charm and accent has opened many doors for Chris. When Josh was little he’d go to the store with Chris and come back to tell me that the lady at the store was flirting with daddy. He’d relate that the lady would say, “Ohhh… I do love your accent.” Seriously, it still happens all the time!

Yeah, the accent and charm may have drawn me in to start with but it is his intelligence, later his faith, his love and the care he gave to me and my kids, his generosity and his passion for helping others that has kept me in love with him. All those physical things I judged him by at first where just temporary surface distractions. Chris has been a loving and devoted husband and we have stayed faithful through the good times and the bad.

My most treasured Valentine card from him wasn’t a card at all but a letter that ends this way…

Slowly, many we love leave us. Then one day we wake up and our dearest is gone too.
    “That come the twilight should we lose our way
    If as we’re walking a hand should slip free
    I’ll wait for you,
    Should I fall behind
    Wait for me….” [1]
But having loved, we are not alone. We still talk to one another however one cannot hear the answers. At least not out loud. If we look around, we see the signs that, once known, love never dies.

The link below is from 15 years ago about on my thoughts on marriage.
https://emyloomwordswovenwithinmyheart.com/2009/10/08/marriage/

[1] Lyrics from Bruce Springsteen song . “If I Should Fall Behind”

Living Year to Year

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With a little less than 48 hours left in 2023, I found this note that keeps popping up that I wrote in 2013. That year was a stressful hard year. My youngest son, a 22 year old college student, spent five months in the hospital, after three surgeries he had nearly exsanguinating bleed and spent weeks in the ICU.

Ten years later, I read these words and see that I made it through that year with the love and support of my family and friends. In reality we make it through every year with their support… with them, we make it through Life!

As I look back on 2023, I do so knowing that I followed my own advice here. I look forward to 2024 and as I often say, “I try to live everyday as if it might be my last at the base of the mountain near the river.”

Down to 48 hours left in 2013.

Going to think through the ups and downs, happiness and heartaches, blessings and curses, those who I lost and those who I still have close to love and appreciate. In that final group, my family and friends including you my Facebook friends and family, who encouraged me, prayed for my family and helped me through this long year.

I thank you and wish for you all a new year of success, warm times with your family, and peace.

I still remember the words from CBS reporter Lee Cowan after the marathon bombing. (The bombings) ” do remind us we don’t get to set life’s clock. While we may think we’ll have a tomorrow to say all the things we want to say, or should have said, what this week proved is that sometimes, that tomorrow doesn’t come — and the things left unsaid could end up one of our greatest regrets. “

Have no regrets. Tell your loved ones how much you care for them, forgive and heal old wounds if at all possible, if not forgive yourself. Live everyday to its fullest and if you are reading this know you are appreciated and loved by me. 💕

A Special Holiday Memory

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When I was young many Christmases and Thanksgivings were spent at my maternal Grandfather’s house. His name was Wallace Van Houten, and I affectionately called him Grandpa Van. Grandpa Van’s house was at 3102 Glen Haven in Houston, was a special place because in the back bedroom they had a dresser full of little toys. My favorite were the ones that you wound up and they would toddle across the floor.

I also loved the bathroom at his house. Really, I would spend an hour in there. It was so clean and covered in sparkling white tiles. His wife, Omeda who was called Mama Meda, had a built-in vanity, with a three large mirrors that went from the vanity top to the ceiling, and a golden ornate seat with a pink velvet cushion. The mirrors were held in place with crystal mirror rosettes and on the vanity was a mirrored vanity tray with gold trim. It was filled with perfumes and a silver trimmed brush, comb and mirror set. It felt like I was in a palace.

From as long as I can remember and until the last time I saw him when I was in my 40’s, his pet name for me was Patty-Watty. I have a photo album that was his and in all the pictures of me, he labeled them Patty-Watty. Seeing those in his handwriting makes me smile.

He had many southwestern bolo ties made of silver and inlaid with turquoise, coral, onyx and mother of pearl. One of my favorites was about 5” long and it was a elaborate grizzly bear. One very fond memory is of sitting in my grandfathers lap in the living room while the men watched football. I was cuddled in his lap admiring the bear and outlining every stone and line on it. During the commercial, he got up and went in his room. He came back with a pin shaped like a Thunderbird and gave it to me. That day, I felt very special and loved.

Above, my Thunderbird gift from 1960’s and below is one of the last Christmases that I sat in my Grandpa Van’s lap ( Christmas 1982).

Trish B – January 15, 2023

Nicknames

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In my lifetime, I have had several nicknames. Thankfully one from my childhood I have out grown and others still make me smile.

By my immediately family, I was called Sissy as a child. I think it was an old southern thing, my maternal grandmother, Mary Elizabeth Wright, was know as “Sister” by her family until she died and our name for her was “Grandma Sissy.” Although occasionally through the years my mother would still call me Sis or Sissy, this is the name that I am thankful I outgrew.

The other name was given me by my grandfather, Wallace Van Houten. He called me “Patty-Watty.” He called me that until the day he died and I cherished it. He was the only person that called me “Patty-Watty” and it was a special name that denoted the affection he had for me. 

I still have little scrapes of paper and envelopes where he wrote notes later in life for the things he wanted to give me, they read “for Patty-Watty.” One such envelope is in a drawer with miscellaneous jewelry. I see it most every day and it always makes me smile.

I also inherited many photo albums that belonged to my grandfather and in each one with my picture, young or old it’s labeled “Patty-Watty.”

My grandfather took many videos of us as children. In his retirement years he spent hours playing them from old big reels onto VHS tapes. He narrates throughout and identifies people in the videos. It makes me smile when I hear him say, “Look who that is there, it’s Patty-Watty. She’s the sweetest little girl.”

Know YOU ARE Loved

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It’s Valentine’s Day and I look across my desk and see a Valentine’s card that has been tucked in by my phone for five years. It is the last Valentine I got from my mother.

I reach over, pick it up and look inside. The words on the card were not mushy or full of fluff — it was simple wish for my happiness. She signed it, “I love you, Me”

I have shared my thoughts on Valentine’s day in the past. I am neither for it or opposed to it. I do know it is hard day for many people who feel alone, lost and unloved and that makes me sad.

~ Much love to all who have lost loved ones during this year. May may your heart be touch by a sweet memory.

~ Much love to the single moms and dads who are providing a loving home for your family with all the strength it takes.

~ Much love to all those who are lost and lonely on the streets, in shelters or just alone, alone with no one beside them.

~ Much love to all the elderly who feel forgotten.

~ Much love to the Veteran who still carries a burden for his lost friends.

~ Much love to the first responders as they are often witness to the lack of love in the world.

~ Much love to all of you who caring for your elderly parents whose minds and memories are fading away.

My wish for you all is the same as the wish in my card.

“Whatever makes you Happy, whatever makes you feel loved”… “That’s what Valentine’s Day should be…”

May you all receive a tangible sign today that you are loved.

Thinking of you Mother ❤️ Now nine months since you made your final journey.

https://emyloomwordswovenwithinmyheart.com/2015/02/14/february-14th/

Our First Thanksgiving

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Tonight I am am thankful for Chrissie ❤️

This picture was taken on our FIRST Thanksgiving together (1982), this year will be Thanksgiving number FORTY!

On that first Thanksgiving in Denver Chrissie got up from the table and fixed plates for my little dogs Lucy and British.

He can be fun that way and as I have expressed before he can be all business. He is smart, I am often amazed how he can hold all that information in his brain. He works hard. He is not afraid to take risks and often it is the secret to his success.

Beyond that he is generous to many without pursing any acknowledgment or gratitude. He shows mercy to those who have hit bottom and have made poor decisions and offers support. He is passionate about his dreams. He brings breakfast in bed and then cleans the kitchen. He chokes up over sentimental movies (more than I do). He can be mischievous. He loves his sons. He loves God.

He is a blessing (a favor or gift bestowed by God) and I am blessed to have shared so many Thanksgivings with him.

Casting Cares

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This post came up in my Facebook memories from 10 years ago.

“Abba Father, thank You for walking with me in every season of life. Today, I cast all of my cares on You.”

Today I am still casting my cares on Him.

Last Tuesday I got a call that my mother was at the hospital. She had a blockage in her left peripheral artery and there was no blood flow to her leg. There was some discussion about her age, 87, and whether we should move ahead with surgery or say goodbye. The decision to do surgery would depend on the vascular surgeons assessment.

The surgeon called me at midnight Tuesday and told me he thought he could help her, but there were many risks and pitfalls along the way. She might not survive the procedure, they may not be able to restore blood flow below her knee which would bring a new set of problems and a host of other issues.

The decision was not hard for me, although she has dementia, she had still been moving around the nursing home being a wisecracker and spreading joy. I wanted to give her a fighting chance.

I arrived on Wednesday and she was in the ICU – it appeared that the blood flow was completely restored all the way to her toes but the first couple of days it waivered a few times and her heart was in Afib.

Today, they are moving her back to rehab. She cannot move her leg or toes and she has no sensation but pain and cold even though her foot is warm.

The doctor who saw her Tuesday night said he is amazed at how well her leg is doing. Best outcome for blood flow return he has ever seen. As far as no feeling in that leg (except for the pain) and inability to move it that will take time and physical therapy for that to return.

My sister and I are going to follow the ambulance back to the nursing and rehab facility and give her lots of love and kisses before she goes back inside. She will be in quarantine for 14 days.

I know the day will come when I will say my last goodbye, but it wasn’t this time and it’s not today.

This picture was the day after surgery and she had let me braid her hair. I took a picture today and she stuck her tongue out so you know that sass is back!

❤️ A multitude of thanks to the vascular surgeon Dr Helmer and his kindness. As well as all the staff at Ascension Providence Hospital in Waco.

Birthdays and New Life

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Birthdays and the accompanying wishes are designed to boost us into the new year recharging us with an overwhelming amount of love and encouragement. ~ trish

Another birthday gone by and as with many before I am bolstered with a happy heart full of love from all the love that has been poured into my life.

This year, I am especially grateful for a birthday that falls at the end of the year because, you know, what a crazy year it has been. Just when my spirit was feeling faint, I was sent showers of blessings by way of phone calls, texts, FB posts, cards and balloons. These were all sent with their own special message from friends and family.

I have spoken before about September and how it has always seemed a new beginning to me. It was beginning of the school year, my age ticked over another year and later in life I learned it is beginning of God’s timetable for the New Year (Rosh Hashanah) which often begins in September.

This year my birthday fell within the Ten Days of Awe (or Repentance) which are the the first ten days of the month of Tishri. It begins on Rosh Hashanah and ends on the holiest day in the Jewish calendar Yom Kippur, the Day of Atonement. These days are days for reevaluating how one lives day to day, repenting for misdeeds and a time of self introspection to weed out the sin and behaviors that fall short of God’s plan for life. Today, I am determined to make changes, to reassess my life and purpose.

This year more than ever there is a need to forgive ourselves, forgive others, turn our backs on sin and hate, and look forward to the new life and year ahead.

This year, once again, I am loved and encouraged. I am also thankful, always thankful because life is a gift.

America’s Brotherhood

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Today is day number 183 of the year with 183 days left; half way through this year 2020. I want to believe that everyday for the rest of the year will not be tragedy among tragedy but I do not have any real hope we will make it through the coming weekend without the world falling into an abyss.

It is as if we are in an altered universe. For the past few years there has been a pot of continuously simmering hot water. With Covid19, the noodles (us) were thrown in the pot and now the foam is bubbling over the top. The noodles in the pot are done but the heat will not turn down until we break apart.

Independence Day weekend is upon us, I will be praying for the first responders more fervently than ever as I fear many people will use the holiday to create further mayhem and destruction.

We are standing on the dividing line. It’s time for the rest of us to stop being noodles, remove the pot from the fire before it is too late, stand up and show our brotherhood and outshine the hate.

“ America, America God shed his grace on thee;
And crown thy good with brotherhood,
From sea to shining sea”

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They Are Precious in His Sight

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Can I love all people without bowing allegiance to BLM?

Does it make me a racist because I do not agree with the precepts of that organization?

I will never support BLM. However, I do support my neighbors, friends and fellow human beings regardless of the color of their skin.

If you are hungry, I will help feed you; if you are homeless, I will help shelter you; if you need a friend to talk to, I will listen.

I will not follow the crowd for one day and think it will make a difference in the world. What does change the world is living every day with compassion and care for the others. I cannot help everyone in the world but can help the one in front of me.

At the same time, I will not apologize for the color of my skin. I was formed by God and although my skin color may have not been an impediment for me, I had my fair share of trials and struggles in my youth. Things, that although unfair, brought me to where I am today. Those experiences gave me a greater compassion for the weak and helpless. When I look at people, I try to see their hearts, the color of one’s skin is not a factor in how I feel about a person. I try to see them as God sees them.

The simple Sunday School song from my childhood taught me all I needed to know. Listed by colors the meaning is clear, every race, every person, no matter their skin tone… “they are precious in his sight…” All people are precious, all are valuable.

Finally, my silence or decision not to join the BLM movement does not make me a less accepting or a less compassionate person. I have never been a follower of popular movements and there just seems something unsettling about the hate being spewed with this one  

Love yourself no matter the color of your skin. Love your neighbor no matter the color of their skin. Listen to others, help others, love others.

My decision to not join, you label as silence and you say it is violence. My silence is not violence. My silence is living my beliefs. My silence is peace. My silence is love.

Patsy Cats

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File this under, “Crazy things you do.”

I am up at 2AM perusing Ebay for kitty cat pins.   My mom, Patsy, is/was a Texas cat lady extraordinaire. She always had a cat on her lap, in addition she had shelves full of figurines, teapots, cookie jars, bookends and every sort of ceramic cat thing ever made. Mostly all gifts from her friends, kids and grandkids that knew she would “just love them.”

Last year I shared about my mom’s dementia and fall which lead to her being unable to live on her own. I shared about the difficulties of clearing her house. Trying to treat her treasures with respect and knowing I could not keep everything. I took a few cats figurines, my sister took a few, I gave some “Patsy Cats” to her friends, I brought some back to Washington and gave to my friends who had met my mom.  “Patsy Cats” were re-homed around the country yet many remained that in the end we donated to charity. It was heartbreaking to dismantle my mother’s possessions and treasures but it had to be done.

When the doctor told her she would not be able to live on her own, my sister and I went out to her house and picked up a few treasures to decorate her room. A book shelf, pictures and several cats to put on the shelves. In addition to all the cats mentioned above, my mom also had a large collection of kitty cat brooches. She had them on her sweaters and blouses and never left the house without being adorned with a golden cat pin. When we were at her house, I found a small metal box, when I opened it I found full of all her brooches.  There were at least 20 in there plus all the ones we found still pinned on her sweaters she probably had 40 or more. I took them to her at the home, at least she could have all of these.

Now comes the sad and tragic bit. My mom has been in the nursing home a little over year now and all the pins are gone.  A few months ago my sister was going to put one on her sweater as she was taking her to lunch and she couldn’t find the box. She told the staff that her box was missing and they did a search. They found the it in a ladies room next door but only one pin inside. You cannot get angry because like my mom, this lady doesn’t comprehend what is going on.  Matter of fact, she insisted that the box was hers.  The pins? They could not be found. Are they hidden around the care facility somewhere? Did she give them away? We do not know.

8BA74499-CFE9-4BFD-A796-E8064664AAF5So here I am at 2AM searching Ebay for kitty cat brooches. I thought these things weren’t so much valuable as they were treasures, but apparently not. They are anywhere from 5-30 dollars or more. So I bought five, a couple were similar to ones she owned.  I am going to bring them to her when I go down to Texas next month. Whether she realizes she has lost so many is hard to say, but when she sees these she will “just love them!”

Journey of Faith

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Tomorrow: My youngest son’s 30th birthday. For over 10 years he has battled with several auto-immune diseases. Sometimes referred to as invisible diseases, as many suffer without external signs that are obvious to those around them, but for them they are more than apparent. His decline over the past year and a half has been heartbreaking to witness.

Prompted by a video made by friends regarding healing, where they visited the pools of Siloam and Bethesda and prayed, Chris and I made the decision to use our upcoming Israel trip to visit these places and pray for our son and pray for healing.

As time drew near I worried that my planned journey may have some element of superstition attached to it. That going there gave the appearance that those places held some sort of power that bordered on the mystical where I was expecting a miracle that God could only deliver from there.  I did not want that.

We talked about it and decided we would go as planned and pray; to go and be open to any message God had for us.

We started our day early and had reservations to stay overnight at the American Colony Hotel in Jerusalem. We made it to the American Colony about 12:30, as our room wasn’t ready, we hired a taxi and made our way to the Pool of Siloam.

The driver drove through the Arab neighborhood in East Jerusalem to find the entrance where our friends, who had made the video about healing, had gone. The man at the entrance sign near the street told us we had to go through the City of David to reach the pool. So the taxi took his back up the hill and dropped us off at the entrance.

When we got inside we paid the entrance fee and were told we’d have to walk through the Canaanite tunnel, a narrow tunnel from an earlier period of more than 1000 years older than Hezekiah‘s Tunnel, to reach the Pool of Siloam.

Oh my, what a walk, we ventured for 30 or 40 minutes through this long and narrow passageway — down old stone stairways, modern steel wire stairways, down and down more and more stairs — finally to reach a tunnel that looked more like a crack in the earth of less than a foot and a half wide in many places. It was dimly lit and had a stone floor less than a foot wide in places.  However, even though it widened higher up, I still had to turn sideways in many places to squeeze through. When we finally reached the end and exited the tunnel,  we were in the Arab neighborhood where the taxi had originally taken us.

We continued to follow the signs as they lead us through the residential streets and at last we arrived at a worn, rusted gate painted green with paint that looked like it had begun to peel years before.  I was so hot and tired and somewhat frustrated over the detour but it set me thinking.

That path through the Canaanite tunnel with ups and downs on a rocky floor, its twists and turns squeezing through narrow spots, reminded me of the journey we take in life when we have trials. We cannot see the end and we do not know what lies around the next corner,  or what it’s gonna take to squeeze through the next difficulty, however, we must keep pressing forward.

We walked through the gate that lead to the pool and down a steep stone stairway.  No one else was there; it was a rectangular space 360C348C-BA82-4E4D-9D3D-B1E32C233EE5enclosed with rock walks and the quiet sound of water trickling through the shallow pool.    

Chris and I said a prayer.  We prayed, “Lord we’ve made this journey to this pool not that it’s a mystical place where we would get special attention to our prayers but we came here as an act of faith, a reminder that you are a God that heals, a blind man was healed here and that you are still a God that heals.”

Texas Full Day and Full Moon

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On my home after another Texas trip. Two days with my Mom and all day Friday with Paulette for her birthday. Not a  fun night out dancing with with the girls but a day together reminiscing  about the past, talking about the future and appreciating each other and the blessings in our lives.  I found the lyrics to this song from the musical “Gypsy”. I think it should be our theme song.

“Wherever we go, whatever we do

We’re gonna go through it together

We may not go far, but sure as a star

Wherever we are, it’s together…

Wherever I go, I know she goes

No fits, no fights, no feuds and no egos

Amigos, together!

Through thick and through thin, all out or all in

And whether it’s win, place or show

With you for me and me for you

We’ll muddle through whatever we do

Together, wherever we go”

We started with breakfast at Denny’s, then massages in Athens ( the blackeye pea capital of the World) , detoured at pecan factory ( bought some jalapeño pecan brittle), steakhouse dinner, and a tour of the old Corsicana Opera House built in 1905. The highlight there, just so you know you are in Texas, was the disco saddle. Texas version of the disco ball.  The tour was suppose to continue around the old buildings in Corsicana with anecdotes, tales of the unexplained and history of the past. However Paulette’s shoe broke and after the underwhelming performance of the ghost in the basement of the opera house, we left.

AB962842-0A58-4694-A76A-0694A9EACE8EIt was beautiful out with a full moon and we went for a drink before calling it a night. I wanted to take her picture with moon in the background and every picture I took showed a cross through the moon. I was using my phone and have photographed the moon before but no matter how I tried to refocus it was there.

A good end to a Friday the 13th under a full Texas Moon.

Patsy & Joe’s Castle

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There’s an old white house with blue trim out FM27 in Fairfield, Texas.  Even though it had aged and lost most of it’s glory many years ago, it was Patsy and Joe’s castle. A simple house in the country.

Before I left town I went by that old house one more time. I stood outside the back door for a moment and looked at the crape myrtle trees blooming on the edge of the porch.

It was warm but not hot, there was a slight breeze and after the overnight storm the air was fresh and clean. I noticed the birds were singing and the combination of all the things made me realize the peacefulness of this old place that they loved.

It was their home sweet home.

I took this small video clip with the flowers that were still blooming and the that birds that were still singing.

Just to remember. It will probably be my last visit here as well.

Marriage

emyloom 1 Comment

Written October 8, 2009

I am not claiming to have all the answers to making a relationship work but here some of things I have discovered about Marriage. (Mine with DrB especially)

Twenty-seven years together and I was twenty-seven when we met. Half my life…amazing.

1+ prior to marriage, 26 years married, 18 years working 15′ feet apart!

~ Having common goals, common core beliefs and common values is important.

~ Honesty is important.

~ Some things are always going to be and it is better not to make a big deal out of the little stuff.

~ It’s OK for me to leave the toilet roll on top of the holder and it’s OK if he wants to put in on.

~ I am not necessarily wrong if I don’t agree with him and vise versa.

~ Expect to disagree.

~ Learn to recognize when things are getting too tense and back off.

~ Knowing that your friends that said you’d never last, were wrong is somewhat gratifying. Stay away from negative people they are quite often wrong.

~ Men need some space (I guess DrB gets some as he travels around) but even so if he wants to go fishing, boating, pursue his own interest it doesn’t mean he doesn’t care about me. And we don’t always have to do everything together. Followed by…

~ Trust is important.

~ Jealously is ugly… (unless of course it is done lovingly; like occasionally reminding him of the time he went to the movies with Marleah)

~ It is important to keep loving each other, when one or the other is being unlovable. We have both been recipients and givers of this.

~ The advice to “never go to bed angry” isn’t necessarily true. Sometimes getting a good night’s sleep can put a new perspective on the issue and for sure the sun will come out tomorrow.

~ At work, shutting the door IS sometimes necessary.

~ Dancing in the kitchen when no one is watching is nice. =)

~ Sharing bites of each others meals is good, letting me finish his beer or letting him finish my ice cream…also good.

~ Understanding that I can object to his business decisions, but knowing that he has the right to make them whether they turn out right or wrong.

~ Laughing at the fact that I know the ending to all of those old jokes.

~ Spontaneous expressions of love are more meaningful and sweet than the ones that are given because they are expected on specific dates.

~ The simple routines and traditions that we’ve built make the world seem not so crazy, like him putting coffee on the bed stand every morning or me washing his face with a warm cloth every night, him making breakfast on weekends, or me cutting his hair in my nightie.

~ Strangely enough we always more united and close when we are under attack from the outside.

~ Passion may fade but real companionship, commitment and love is everlasting..

~ Twenty-seven years goes by faster than you think…

My most treasured Valentine card from DrB wasn’t a card at all but a letter that ends this way…

Slowly, many we love leave us. Then one day we wake up and our dearest is gone too.
“That come the twilight should we lose our way
If as we’re walkin a hand should slip free
I’ll wait for you
And should I fall behind
Wait for me….”

But having loved, we are not alone. We still talk to one another however one of cannot hear the answers.
At least not out loud. If we look around, we see the signs that, once known, love never dies.

Quote Lyrics from Bruce Springsteen song .  “If I Should Fall Behind”