Friendship

We are the Women – We are One

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“A woman is like a tea bag – you can’t tell how strong she is until you put her in hot water.” – Eleanor Roosevelt

Thankful today for the strong women in my family and for the bond and closeness we share.   We as a group have been like glue, we have held together when others were falling apart. 

We seldom argue. We are of one mind and spirit. We support each other, are available for each other, listen to each other without judgment. When crises come, we join in unison to make our way through. 

There is Paulette who overcame extreme childhood adversity but did not let it keep her from succeeding in life.  She was an anchor of support for my mother, her daughters and her grandchildren. She supported them emotionally, financially and lovingly.  She works hard and shares what she has without hesitation. 

There is my niece, who grew up without the protection and care of a father. She grew into a strong, confident, talented and independent young woman.  She extends undeserved compassion and mercy to those who have not earned it, showing the kindness and forgiveness in her heart. 

My sister-in-love, my niece’s mother showed extreme strength in looking for a more stable home for her daughter. After many years apart we reconnected and formed a bond of friendship and sisterhood. 

My Auntie TJ.  All of my childhood we lived across the country from each other.  We reconnected over 40 years ago to discover that we had many of the same characteristics.  Funny how nature is that way.  She cares for so many in her family, but most exceptional was the care she gave as a devoted daughter, caring for my grandmother until she passed at 98.

My cousin Patty who was widowed as a young mom and raised a fine handsome responsible young man. She also, like her mom, is now providing support her mother. 

My cousin Beth, she fought for justice for her father (my uncle) and for her children. She paid many visits to my mother in her final years extended her love by being near when needed. 

My cousin, Debbie who passed away in December. I will miss our marathon phone calls… never less than  an hour and a half, full of support for each other’s lives.  She also would travel to visit my mother and show her love. 

My sister-in-law, Karen, who joined my family circle in a crisis and has stayed through many highs and lows over the years.  Above and beyond any obligation or call of duty she had, she has supported both sides of the family. 

We have all seen the hot water and we have proven we are strong. Our bond is unbreakable and we together we can overcome. 

And So it Ends

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The Lord’s acts of mercy indeed do not end, For His compassions do not fail. They are new every morning; Great is Your faithfulness. Lamentations 3:22-23 NAS

This year, as in many others, I have spent the past few days reflecting on the past twelve months… its joys and sorrows.  

The highlight of my year was in May when Chris and I went to South Africa on a trip with his college buddies and their wives.  I was a little apprehensive about the trip, not knowing anyone, but in the end I formed some awesome friendships.

The country of South Africa was so beautiful, the wildlife, the scenery, the people, the history, it was all an awe inspiring experience. So amazing I can’t believe I didn’t write about it. I did upload photos and some narratives as we travelled on my photo blog.

Part of the reason I didn’t write about my trip as soon as I returned, was because I was instantly plunged into a healthcare issue. I required surgery within only a few weeks that consumed all my time, concentration and energy.  Thankfully everything was sorted out with surgery and a few months of recovery time.

In September, I made a whirl wind trip to Texas starting in Austin. I visited my cousin Debbie in a nursing facility. I saw her daughter my 1st cousin once removed and her new baby (1st cousin twice removed). I had lunch with my friend Debbie just south of Austin. Then, I drove 170 miles to an area just outside of Houston.

That evening I had a lovely dinner on the shores of Lake Conroe with a lady who worked with me 26 years ago. It was warm night and so relaxing listening to the water lapping against the rocks. We laughed and shared stories together as if no time at all had passed.

The next morning I got up and met my niece for breakfast along with her mom and my three grand nieces. After breakfast, I drove north and stopped in Centerville for quick visit with a childhood friend. Finally, made my way to Corsicana to see my sister.

Paulette and I spent several days catching up and visiting friends and family. Together we completed a long overdue task at mother’s grave. After having driven over 600 miles in a week, I drove to Dallas and flew home. It was a full busy trip. I got home tired but with a heart full of love.

Sadly the review of every year ends with memories of those we lost. The most tragic loss for us was in November when 17-year-old son of a dear friend drowned. Hard to accept and understand why someone dies so young. 

Additionally, in the past month, two friends and my sweet cousin, Debbie, passed away.  I am so thankful I had that visit with her in September.

For the past several years, at the new year, I read the poem God Knows. A poem written by Minnie Louise Haskins in 1908. More about the poem and my thoughts in this blog post from 2020.

This is the end, and tomorrow I begin again looking ahead to 2025. I do so heeding the guidance given by Ms. Haskins.

“And I said to the man who stood at the gate of the year: “Give me a light that I may tread safely into the unknown.” 

And he replied: “Go out into the darkness and put your hand into the Hand of God.
That shall be to you better than light and safer than a known way.”

So I went forth, and finding the Hand of God, trod gladly into the night.

And He led me towards the hills and the breaking of day in the lone East.

So heart be still:
What need our little life
Our human life to know,
If God hath comprehension?
In all the dizzy strife
Of things both high and low,
God hideth His intention.

God knows. His will
Is best. The stretch of years
Which wind ahead, so dim
To our imperfect vision,
Are clear to God. Our fears
Are premature; In Him,
All time hath full provision.

Then rest: until
God moves to lift the veil
From our impatient eyes,
When, as the sweeter features
Of Life’s stern face we hail,
Fair beyond all surmise
God’s thought around His creatures
Our mind shall fill.

How British Charm Won My Heart: A Love Story

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Today is officially mine and Chris’s 41st anniversary. Honestly, I cannot comprehend how time has flown by so quickly. When we were first married there were people making bets that it wouldn’t last a year. Well, we just had to prove them wrong! Tovah Feldshuh, American actress, singer and playwright gave this advice on marriage, “You know how to have a successful marriage? Shut one eye, and don’t leave. Some of it’s fun and some of it isn’t. It can be challenging, but you do not leave the field of play.” We are still on the field and here is the rest of the story.

I met Chris at work in August 1982. I was going through a divorce and started a new job at International Ground Support Systems in Denver. They did underground engineering consulting. It was a small company with three engineers, a welder, and two laborers. Chris was one of the engineers and when I started, he was working on a job in Cape Breton Island, Nova Scotia. He would check into the office daily, so we really met over the phone first. He, as anyone that knows him appreciates, is very out going and friendly and he has a great British accent. So naturally, I was instantly curious about this guy.

I had worked there about a month when Chris returned from Canada. The business was in a large metal warehouse and the front part was in a sectioned off into offices. I was in a small cubicle near the door with big windows to the outside and a small reception window inside. The first time I saw him, he came bounding through the front doors. He stopped at the reception window and poked his head through to introduce himself. He looked like he had been on an all night binge. He was disheveled, his clothes were wrinkled and when he smiled it revealed two missing teeth. NOT A ALL HOW I IMAGINED HIM! After he left I thought …hmm, maybe we could be good friends.

I don’t know exactly when my perception changed, but his charm did win me over. I know we were a couple by Thanksgiving because we had a big dinner at his house. There was a small issue though, and it was that technically, Chris was still married.

His English wife had left and gone back to England three years prior when he moved from Virginia to Denver. They had not been in contact for quite a while. Chris wanted to get married but had to locate her and somehow negotiate a long-distance divorce.

I still tease him because at one point he suggested we just get married because no one would know or care. Obviously this was before the internet and everyone’s personal life can be researched worldwide. I politely declined. I told him I did not want someone coming twenty years later and claiming everything and besides that was just wrong and downright illegal!

It did take a while but we were married a year later. I have to say that British charm and accent has opened many doors for Chris. When Josh was little he’d go to the store with Chris and come back to tell me that the lady at the store was flirting with daddy. He’d relate that the lady would say, “Ohhh… I do love your accent.” Seriously, it still happens all the time!

Yeah, the accent and charm may have drawn me in to start with but it is his intelligence, later his faith, his love and the care he gave to me and my kids, his generosity and his passion for helping others that has kept me in love with him. All those physical things I judged him by at first where just temporary surface distractions. Chris has been a loving and devoted husband and we have stayed faithful through the good times and the bad.

My most treasured Valentine card from him wasn’t a card at all but a letter that ends this way…

Slowly, many we love leave us. Then one day we wake up and our dearest is gone too.
    “That come the twilight should we lose our way
    If as we’re walking a hand should slip free
    I’ll wait for you,
    Should I fall behind
    Wait for me….” [1]
But having loved, we are not alone. We still talk to one another however one cannot hear the answers. At least not out loud. If we look around, we see the signs that, once known, love never dies.

The link below is from 15 years ago about on my thoughts on marriage.
https://emyloomwordswovenwithinmyheart.com/2009/10/08/marriage/

[1] Lyrics from Bruce Springsteen song . “If I Should Fall Behind”

Celebrating Birthdays

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Birthdays, to date, I have had 69. Strangely enough, I don’t remember, not even one from my childhood.

I don’t remember my 21st birthday. At the time I lived in Anchorage, AK, and I had two children. I know I didn’t go out and have the first “legal drink” because I rarely drank alcohol until I was in my fifties.

At 30, all I care to remember is that it was a very sad day. On this birthday, I had been living in Washington State for a little over a year. I had moved here with Chris just months after we married. I thought it would be a new and exciting change for me. I always dreamed of Seattle and thought it must be a magical place from watching the 60’s TV show, “Here Come the Brides.”

The alluring theme song just made me want to go there and see for myself.
“ The bluest skies you’ve ever seen in Seattle,
And the hills the greenest green in Seattle.
Like a beautiful child growing up free and wild
Full of hopes and full of fears
Full of laughter full of tears
Full of dreams to last the years in Seattle.”

I came here with lots of dreams for a full life but just like the song goes there were fears and tears as well.

On my 30th birthday I had a fifteen year old son who was going through his own trials. Hard to be fifteen but being uprooted and moved to a new state compounded those issues. It was hard on both of us.

I had a cake, but it was no celebration. Someone took a picture anyway.

Thirty

Fast forwarding through the next 20 years — I have no recollection at all of any celebrations. But, 50, that was a birthday to remember.

Chris and my friend, Sho, secretly conspired together to give me a wonderful birthday weekend. The day before my birthday, Sho and her partners in crime (Yohanna and Rita) took me out on a long day trip to the Olympic Peninsula. Naturally I became suspicious as the day went on and on. It soon became apparent that we were not headed home and I was not sure what the end game was.

Late in the afternoon we arrived at the Manresa Castle in Port Townsend. The castle was built in 1892 by a local businessman and first mayor of Port Townsend, Charles Eisenbeis. After his death the castle was remained empty for the next 25 years. Then in 1927, it was purchased by the Jesuit priests who used as a training college. In 1968 the building was sold again and converted to a hotel. The hotel is rumored to be haunted but it seems all old hotels have that status.

I was told were going to have a girls weekend not just an outing. When were in the lobby checking in, I looked up and saw Josh, my youngest son. That’s when the surprise unfolded.

Chris had invited many of my friends to a weekend birthday celebration. He reserved rooms for them all (of course with Sho’s help) and organized a catered buffet dinner in the dining room.

Along with Chris and Josh were my older sons, Aaron from Denver and Adam from California. Friends from my church family were there, Jennifer, Karen, Ann, Madeline and Mal, Phil and Carolyn, and Becky and Pat. In addition these social friends, co-workers and neighbors were there: Tony and Jen, George and Julie, Tom and Jean, Howard and Ruth and last but not least, my old friend Jim came up from California.

It was a wonderful evening filled with love from my family and these special people in my life. Several of these lovely people got up and said lots of really sweet and kind things about their relationship with me. It was a very humbling experience.

One thing I found very bizarre about the event was that my two worlds collided that day. My spiritual family/friends and my secular friends were there at the time and the same place. It was really an interesting coming together of people who knew me in very different ways.

Sho gave me a book to write about my day and thoughts on life with each passing birthday. I have to admit I kept it up for a few years, but fell behind. Below is an excerpt from that first entry…

September 2005 – Wow, it’s my 50th birthday! Who would have ever thought, but it must be true about getting up early as you get older because I woke up at 4:30 and couldn’t go back to sleep. I laid awake for a while hoping the old hotel didn’t really have any lost souls wandering around. That thought passed quick enough as I had to visit the facilities and nothing grabbed me on my way in the dark.

My dear sweet Chrissie did manage to surprise me with a wonderful birthday at Manresa Castle. Not only did he surprise me he managed to get my sons and about 25 of my most favorite people here as well. Done — all with the help of Ms. Shoshana and Ms. Yohanna. Those two fibbers… more like those two lovers of my soul.

While lying awake in bed I said a prayer of thanks for my friends… I should have more faith and trust, all of my friends love me…. and I am truly blessed by their presence here today.

So here I am today at sixty-nine. How did I get here? I feel like I am about 42, and the realization that I will be 70 next year I find hard to comprehend. The years have flipped by faster than pages in a book.

This morning I once again I woke up at 4:30 and thanks to social media my spirits were immediately boosted by dozens of well wishes from family and friends.

In the 19 years since my 50th celebration at Manresa Castle, some of the friends that attended have passed on, others moved on to different towns and states, and several others just moved on. Thankfully, the majority are still in my life. They are still loving me, supporting me and celebrating me.

I imagine next year at 70 there will be some kind of big to-do. Now I’m thinking if you make it to 70, one really should celebrate. After all life is short and we should really celebrate every year God has granted us.

Number One
Number Sixty-nine

To Muffet with Love

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Thanks to the internet and social media apps like Classmates and Facebook I have reconnected with several school friends.  I cannot really say from high school because I never went a day of high school, but I had a few childhood friends that remained in my heart.

The first person I reconnected with was Pattie. In 2006, she was my birthday present as Chris paid for a trip for her to come visit me in Seattle.  We rediscovered each other in a whole new light, through adult eyes and not those of a child.  

Pattie and I only had a few years to reconnect when sadly she left this earth much too soon. I was heartbroken and shocked… the one friend I had contact with from my broken ugly childhood was gone.

At that time I had been on Classmates for 10 years. In all that time I never heard from anyone, and then the day after I learned that Pattie had died, I got a message.

The next day! I was flooded with love, that someone would remember ME and reach out to ME because I always felt I longed to be friends with others, more than anyone wanted to be friends with ME.  

This message was from Muffet.  Growing up, she lived in Sunset Ridge a development of brick homes off Hwy 75 outside of Conroe. I lived across the highway in a older wooden house, a house where the walls in my room were not finished and just open studs. Visiting Muffet’s house was like a fantasy experience. She had beautiful white carpet in her bedroom and I would take off my shoes and wriggle my toes in the fibers; her room was a princess-land.

Muffet had beautiful long hair that her mother would braid and roll around in a bun on top of her head. She looked angelic or like she should be picking flowers somewhere in the Swiss Alps. She was lovely inside and out.

Beyond material things, Muffet was a kind, sweet friend that accepted me, this strange girl who was a square peg in a world of round holes.

After that initial note, we began to correspond regularly and later connected on social media. She included me as part of a group that I left at 14, but a group of people I grew up with and often wondered how life changed for them.

She prayed with me for my son through his hard days with surgeries and setbacks. She gave me hope that God can heal as she shared the health crisis she endured with her own child. We were both caretakers for our elderly mothers, she more hands on with hers as she lived close by. Me more administrative with mine although I did make several trip a year to see her.

On one of those trips in 2018, we finally reconnected face to face. The first time since 1969, it was like we never skipped a beat. We spent two hours laughing, sharing and reminiscing. A wonderful cherished time.

So, back to Muffet’s original message in 2009, was it a coincidence she wrote to me at this critical time? Several times in my life I believe God has arranged events and sent people to comfort me and show me his love just when I need it most.  No, Muffet’s note and whatever the process was that she found me and decided to write, was a gift from God. It was as if God was saying, “I love you, Trish.”

Sunday, is Muffet’s birthday. This friend who has been a gift from God to me. Thank you Muffet for caring enough to contact me. I treasure these past few years of reconnecting and sharing. I look forward to when we can meet face to face again. Muffet, not to sound too Golden Girlish… “Thank you for being a friend.”

Happy Birthday ~ I love you.

Living Year to Year

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With a little less than 48 hours left in 2023, I found this note that keeps popping up that I wrote in 2013. That year was a stressful hard year. My youngest son, a 22 year old college student, spent five months in the hospital, after three surgeries he had nearly exsanguinating bleed and spent weeks in the ICU.

Ten years later, I read these words and see that I made it through that year with the love and support of my family and friends. In reality we make it through every year with their support… with them, we make it through Life!

As I look back on 2023, I do so knowing that I followed my own advice here. I look forward to 2024 and as I often say, “I try to live everyday as if it might be my last at the base of the mountain near the river.”

Down to 48 hours left in 2013.

Going to think through the ups and downs, happiness and heartaches, blessings and curses, those who I lost and those who I still have close to love and appreciate. In that final group, my family and friends including you my Facebook friends and family, who encouraged me, prayed for my family and helped me through this long year.

I thank you and wish for you all a new year of success, warm times with your family, and peace.

I still remember the words from CBS reporter Lee Cowan after the marathon bombing. (The bombings) ” do remind us we don’t get to set life’s clock. While we may think we’ll have a tomorrow to say all the things we want to say, or should have said, what this week proved is that sometimes, that tomorrow doesn’t come — and the things left unsaid could end up one of our greatest regrets. “

Have no regrets. Tell your loved ones how much you care for them, forgive and heal old wounds if at all possible, if not forgive yourself. Live everyday to its fullest and if you are reading this know you are appreciated and loved by me. 💕

My Best Job

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I am going to rate the best job I ever had by the lasting friendships that have remained from it. Not counting the current job I have had for 32 years, the best job I ever had was at Dateline Technology in Bellevue, WA in 1984 when I moved to Washington.

Other than the one day I worked as a temp and left crying at lunch, Dateline was my first job here. It was a technology company that sold and installed Prime and Wang data storage systems. It was owned by two ex-Prime Computer employees. One had been an engineer and the other a marketing manager, Joe and Jack.

When I started there, other than Joe and Jack, there were five other guys, they were technicians and installers. Seven guys and me. Although I was only 28 years old, I was affectionately referred to as the “den mother.”

It was a growing business and in just a few years there were over twenty of us.  Joe and Jack made Dateline a fun and challenging place to work. In a few short years they made record sales and the guys were traveling all over the US installing systems. I was the secretary, girl Friday, and later bookkeeper. I handled all the travel arrangements for the guys in the field and kept in contact with them. Sometimes they head out for two places and end up to going to four other places in several states before they made it back home.

Once we had a holiday party where they celebrated the sales and success of the prior year.  After dinner, Joe and Jack played a game of “Price is Right,” employees had guessed total sales for the year, profits and sales projections.  The winner in each category was the person whose guess came the closest without going over. Since I was doing bookkeeping by this time, I did not play along. They handed out some really nice prizes to the winners.

The last prize was a simple drawing for a small radio/tv so I could participate. Jack reached in a pulled out a name…it said “Wink Martindale!”  One of the sales guys jumped up and began dancing around the room singing the notes to the “Price is Right” theme song.  Jack looked around and said, “I don’t know a Wink Martindale.”  He drew another name and I won!  I still have that little TV at the office and even though it doesn’t work on any system available today, every time I see it, it makes me smile.

At that same party there was a young woman who was our receptionist, Shannon. At one point in the evening we got up and went to the ladies room together. When we came back and sat down there was a moment of dead silence, then all 12 of guys stood up and left the room (supposedly all going to the restroom like women do… together). We sat there and laughed and laughed.

It was a fun place, we were like a family. Sadly as with a lot of successful small businesses, they had growing pains and later conflicts between Joe and Jack on financial issues and the direction for the future. I left there when my old boss, a lobbyist for Sun Oil Co. in Colorado, moved to Washington and offered me a job. Shortly after I left, they sold to a California company. A couple of the guys moved to California to work for this new company, but most found new jobs.

Of the original seven from when I started, I am still in contact with four of them: Jim, Dave, Steve and Terry.

Jim lives in California now; he was like a brother to me and my kids still call him Uncle Jim. Over the years we have visited California and Jim would go with us to Disneyland. He was like a kid and would spend hours on Tom Sawyers Island with Josh.

Dave lived with us for a while after Dateline sold. He was from Massachusetts and he moved back to the East Coast. After moving back he got married a lovely lady named Lynne. We still communicate via Facebook and he sent the kindest note a few years back that made me realize I’m part of something bigger.

The note read: “I spoke to the (church) group about how important the YMCA and the Boy Scouts were to me but to my friend beside me and to Lynne later, I spoke of a person that has made me believe and think of God more than anyone in my life; a person that held out their hand to a young man that moved across country and didn’t have many friends made me feel special and a part of her family. This person opened my eyes to church more than a young Catholic man had seen before and it awoke a desire for more that I am just now understanding and I thank the Lord for you everyday. For many years I could only read stories now I can act and talk my faith. I believe in the power of prayer and my heavenly woman you and Chris have opened your home and your heart to me and I can never repay you for all you have done for me.”

I never imagined.

Steve lives in Joyce, WA on the Olympic Peninsula with his wife Elizabeth.  When I was pregnant with Josh, I got a job as an administrative assistant at the company where Elizabeth worked, so I had worked with them both, and they both remain friends.

Terry who was one of the electrical engineers used to live here in the same town in North Bend, and we would see each other occasionally, but he has since retired and moved to Oregon.

I never heard from Jack after I left. He was more my boss than Joe was, and I think he was upset at my leaving and never really forgave me.

I did casually stay in touch with Joe. When JD was born he and his wife came to visit and brought a gift. It was a yellow sweater with little ducks on it that his wife had knitted. Joe sadly died from Lou Gehrig’s disease in 2008. Chris and I had gone to visit him a few years before that, he had lost all movement below his chest but could still speak. He had been a ballroom dancer and visiting him and seeing him this way was hard. Hard visit for us, but I know it was a blessing to him.

In summary, Dateline was the best job while it lasted, just shy of three years, and it created several of the “best friendships” that have lasted for nearly forty.

That’s me in a sales brochure that went out in 1986. I was pretending to be a technician. Jack was trying to emphasize what a progressive company we were employing women in high tech jobs. In truth I did not even know how to turn the thing on and I don’t really think it fooled anyone.

Forever {Sister} Friends

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“Friendship like the flight of birds;
Cannot be put in written words,
Never has a poet penned,
All it means to have a friend.”
~ Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

I bought a set of stationary back in the 1970’s that had this quote on it, I have never seen it anywhere since and I cannot find any other reference to Longfellow. However it remains a favorite of mine.

I was told that I was a person who “chooses friends carefully.” In truth, over the last nearly seventy years I have had four friends that I would call “forever {sister} friends.” There was a time I longed for a close friend, a time I felt isolated and alone. I think I was selective about who I got close to, because of fear. Fear of being judged, fear of rejection, fear that as I wrote once…“Am I the problem? Why do I lock others out? To protect from the hurt, Or is it from Fear? That they might discover… What’s hidden in here?”

The first FSF I had was Mary. I met Mary in Anchorage, Alaska in 1974, I was 19. We were living at the top of the world, isolated, and we lived as if there were no other people on earth. Mary was older than me, she was funny and outgoing. We shared so much and she was a friend that helped me to begin to come out of my shell. She told me once, “Why do you always wear brown? You look like you’re dead.” Truth is I was just trying to blend into the background. Mary and I have been friends for nearly fifty years. We stayed connected to each other from around the US, from Alaska, to Texas, to Colorado. Mary is in South Carolina now, me in Seattle but we still talk and laugh about those good times in Alaska.

FSF number two is Debbie. We met in 1977, in Denver. Debbie and I have had some rough spots, we were total opposites both born in 1955, she is older by 3 months. My ex thought she was a bad influence on me but isn’t that the way it goes? The greatest friendships have a yin and yang combination. I married young and really had no wild and crazy side when we met except for what I gained from Mary (Debbie took up where Mary left off). She was a natural comic, quick and witty. I always would tell her that Rosanne was nothing compared to her.

Over the years we have been there for one another… births, deaths, divorce, and we have shared the lowest lows and the highest highs. There is not much we have not shared with one other. Debbie and I have not lived in the same city since 1984. We still see each other, more the past few years because we both understand tomorrow is not guaranteed. Seven years ago she was diagnosed with breast cancer. The bad one, but really they are all bad. Prayers are answered because after seven years of treatment, she is still cancer free.

After I moved to Seattle, I longed again for a friend. Debbie and I wrote and talked often, but it is not the same as having someone to share your day to day life with, go shopping with, someone you can laugh and cry with. I had a few acquaintances, neighbors and co-workers but no Seattle Forever Sister Friend. It was the dry season of my life. I wrote a poem (prayer) about this longing for a friend in 1993 and in 1999 God answered my prayer when I visited a local Messianic Congregation.

There I met two FSFs. The first one was Becky. Again, I tend to gravitate to the outgoing extroverted type. Becky, also six years older than me ran the Judaica shop/bookstore at this congregation and we hit it off from the start. I started going with her to conferences, and as we were both in our 40/50’s by this time we had a lot of catching up to do. We went to California, Texas, Canada and Mexico together and although we had common hearts, our habits and personal traits were totally different. I am the morning person, she not so much; she was all into Dancing with the Stars, me true crime; she loves to dance (organized dance), me two-left feet and just move with the music; she knows the scientific names of all the plants, I just know they are pretty; she is mocha lattes and I was just coffee, I was kinda plain Jane and she knew all the latest beauty tips. It was with Becky I had my very first pedicure. Who knew that could be so great, oh what had I been missing? Becky and I have a similar look and people often mistake us for one another or think we were sisters. It was at the pedicure place one day when a woman asked the owner if we were sisters, she said, “No they just look alike and they both have big hair.” Yes, we have big hair!!

Becky cared for her husband who was in failing health. She was loyal and devoted; she sacrificed herself to care for him until the end. She has been a loyal and devoted friend as well. She’s never afraid to tell me if my thinking is not right but always loving me, quirks and all.

Finally, but not least, there is Shoshana. The kindest, most loving, non-judgmental person I know. She is a FSF/Soul Sister. We are only a couple of years apart in age and her wisdom has blessed me many times. She also had a tough childhood and her compassion for others is a heavenly gift. Sometimes she gives so much of herself she forgets to take care of herself too. I think that is where I come in, possibly God put me in her path so that I can remind her that she is important too and she needs to take time to put herself first. In turn she reminds me that God loves me no matter what happened in my past.

I think maybe there is a point in life where you can no longer make new FSFs, or new old friends. I would never presume to know it all though, God has surprised me more than once. The qualities I value in all my FSFs are; they are trustworthy, loyal, honest, people of faith, people who have a deeper understanding of life and take the time to find the joy in every day.

Field of Free Foxglove

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I came home Thursday evening and as it had not rained in the past three hours and no rain was expected for another three, I took the opportunity to mow the grass. The next rain break could be more than a week away and the grass would be two feet tall by then.

As I cruise around my 3.5 acres of lawn (moss and grass) I am in awe that almost the entire yard is flanked by fields of digitalis purperea commonly known as foxglove. It is not native to the Pacific Northwest; originally from Europe and Turkey it grows well with our cool temperatures and rain.

Digitalis purpurea is poisonous to both wildlife and humans but it is the source of the medication digitalis that is prescribed by doctors to strengthen the heart and regulate its beat.

I have over the years encouraged the spread of these tall beauties but never really managed more than a few patches scattered around the yard. Until this year, when several large fields appeared all around the edge of the forest. As I mowed, I stopped to admire them and took several photographs but none really captured their awesome beauty. After years of hoping for such a full display, seeing them brought joy to my mowing task.

I find mowing therapeutic, it doesn’t take a lot of thought and it is satisfying to watch the wild overgrown sections turn into an organized evenly trimmed lawn. Often when I mow, I use the time to sort out my thoughts and try to put to rest things that are troubling my heart. This week there was a lot on my heart. My ‘Old Friend’ who I wrote about a few weeks back, had lost her son in a tragic way just two days prior.

The pain and heartbreak is overwhelming. We can’t understand why but I want to see these beautiful large fields of foxglove as a sign that God cares for our hearts even in the most difficult times. I want to believe that even though our hearts are weak and broken right now, these free fields of foxgloves standing tall are a sign that even though it may take time, our hearts will be strong and the irregular beat that this sorrow, pain and grief has caused, will in time, return to a normal beat. It may never fully heal, the scar will remain, but we will go on and find beauty in life again.

Know YOU ARE Loved

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It’s Valentine’s Day and I look across my desk and see a Valentine’s card that has been tucked in by my phone for five years. It is the last Valentine I got from my mother.

I reach over, pick it up and look inside. The words on the card were not mushy or full of fluff — it was simple wish for my happiness. She signed it, “I love you, Me”

I have shared my thoughts on Valentine’s day in the past. I am neither for it or opposed to it. I do know it is hard day for many people who feel alone, lost and unloved and that makes me sad.

~ Much love to all who have lost loved ones during this year. May may your heart be touch by a sweet memory.

~ Much love to the single moms and dads who are providing a loving home for your family with all the strength it takes.

~ Much love to all those who are lost and lonely on the streets, in shelters or just alone, alone with no one beside them.

~ Much love to all the elderly who feel forgotten.

~ Much love to the Veteran who still carries a burden for his lost friends.

~ Much love to the first responders as they are often witness to the lack of love in the world.

~ Much love to all of you who caring for your elderly parents whose minds and memories are fading away.

My wish for you all is the same as the wish in my card.

“Whatever makes you Happy, whatever makes you feel loved”… “That’s what Valentine’s Day should be…”

May you all receive a tangible sign today that you are loved.

Thinking of you Mother ❤️ Now nine months since you made your final journey.

https://emyloomwordswovenwithinmyheart.com/2015/02/14/february-14th/

Old Friends

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I don’t really have any “new friends” but I have different stages of “old friends”. I wonder if there is a time when you don’t make new friends? For sure with all the lock downs I haven’t made any new friends the past few years.

Some old friends are newer old friends… 20 years or so but when we met it seemed we had already known each other for many years.

My oldest friend has been through it all with me, she knows all my secrets and I know hers, we’ve done some really stupid things together, partying which often involved drinking too much; we held each other’s hands though births and divorce, illness and supported each other through the loss of our moms – we’ve laughed and cried.

This is Debbie – 45 years since we met in Denver. We’ve spent a lot of years apart and yet the times we are together we pick up where we left off and there is never a moment of awkward silence.

You know those times of serendipitous events that are really divine appointments that I wrote about before? Last week I was blessed with another one.

We were going to Hawaii for a pre-Christmas holiday. Two days before leaving, I opened a Christmas card from Debbie in it she said she was going to Hawaii as well. Our trips overlapped and we were on the same island in condos only one mile apart. We could not have planned it better if we tried.

We both really needed this time together. Four days, to just enjoy each others company, to laugh to reminisce about all of those crazy things we did when we were much younger. I have to say she remembers a lot of stuff I do not recall. Most things I would be ashamed to remember that I did.

My ex thought she was a bad influence on me but isn’t that the way it goes? The greatest friendships have a yin and yang combination. I married young and really had no wild and crazy side when we met; Debbie was a natural comic, quick and witty. I always would tell her that Rosanne had nothing compared to her.

My old friend, she is a fighter and she is a survivor. Six years ago she was diagnosed with breast cancer. The bad one, but really they are all bad. During chemo and radiation her mother began to decline and she had to travel away from home to say a hard goodbye. Prayers are answered because after five years of treatment, she is cancer free.

So yes, every visit, every moment is that much more precious. We hugged and kissed, our hearts ached when we parted.

I was a girl scout and there is a scouting song that goes like this:

Make new friends, but keep the old. One is silver, the other is gold.
A fire burns bright, it warms the heart. We’ve been friends, from the very start.
You have one hand, I have the other. Put them together, we have each other.
You help me and I’ll help you and together we will see it through.
Across the land, Across the sea; Friends forever we will always be ❤️

Debbie, you are my treasure. You are gold.

God Joins Hearts

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Thankful for family… those connected by blood and those connected by heart. You’ve heard the saying that blood is thicker than water but I say that when God joins two hearts, the bond is stronger than blood.

Without getting too deep into the crazy mix of my family, I want to say I am so thankful for the family God has added to my life.

One of these family members is Karen. Karen is actually married to my ex who is also my step-brother. In the past introductions were a little awkward (once we looked at each other like…what do I call you?) but now it is truer and easier to say she is my sister-in-law but really better yet a sister. A sister that came into my family when I needed it most.

Karen joined my family circle in a crisis. We first met when my oldest son was in the hospital after a near-fatal motorcycle accident 30 years ago. She was a supportive then and has stayed a source of strength and comfort through many highs and lows over the years.

Over the years, we went to graduations, we saw a son go to war, we attended weddings and funerals and welcome grandchildren. In 2018, she put in three long days in Texas helping us clean out our parent’s house. A task above and beyond any obligation or call of duty. We had many moments of laughter and it surely took a saint to work through more than 40 years of clutter and dust.

Throughout this difficult year Karen stood by us all as we said goodbye to mother. Not just my mother but her mother-in-law and the mother who loved her, her husband and his sister more than any mother could love a son or daughter.

My mom told me one once that Karen told her we were “buds.” Yes, we were, but we are more than buddies and friends, we became family and we will remain family to the end.

Today is Karen’s birthday. Happy birthday Karen. We met just before your 34th birthday and you have proven to be an amazing gift and blessing in my life.

Friends to the End

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The anniversary of my birth is fast approaching and I got an early birthday card from Uncle Sam. A Medicare card with my name on it. Le sigh

This revelation that I am getting older has me sorting and purging through things I have kept for years; things kept for good reason and no good reason at all.

Through this sort I took a second and third look at a very old friend. He has been a permanent fixture in my sewing room the past couple of decades although I cannot remember a time he wasn’t with me.

I’ve long forgotten his childhood name, but he’s traveled with me as I moved around the US… Texas, Florida, Alaska, Colorado and with me still in the PNW.

He has been a silent witness through my childhood, love, marriage, motherhood, all of it the good and bad.

At most times I have taken him for granted and never give him a serious look. He is showing his age, he’s been through the wringer a few times. He lost an ear that I was going to sew back on one day but by time I got around to getting it done, the ear couldn’t be found. He’s been restuffed, stitched up, his fur can’t quite lose it’s dirty shadow and his seams are coming apart. All these things are beautiful to me.

So as I approach this milestone birthday and I take a good look at this old friend. I decide he’s staying until the end and after all we’ve been through together, just like me, he’s still smiling.

Gladys

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Sharing a verse from 1978 written by my mother about her cousin Gladys. It is about a person that loved her through a time of loss and change.

In tribute to Gladys 12/31/33 – 8/23/20

GLADYS

Once, so many years ago; a time came in my life: a time of change-

    A change of place, a change of face, a change of family came into my life –

Once so many years ago; once so many years ago I gained a sister in my life-

    Not a REAL sister – in that way-I wasn’t blessed, once so many years ago.

This sister that I did acquire, once so many years ago, was truly of the family,

    The family kind; because as close as we could come was through our mothers,

Once so many years ago; For 14 years we did not know, this sister of mine-

    We did not know that such a closeness, a love, a kindredship could exist.

Once so many years ago.

Sometimes I wonder as I think back on once so many years ago, if there might –

    Just might have been some unspoken thoughts between us two; so many years ago,

Unspoken thoughts that may have said—I don’t want you here—you intrude—intrude

    On me and my family – go away – Did she think these things, many years ago?

Once so many years? If she did – she didn’t say – didn’t say these things out –

    Out loud to me, once so many years ago.  We fussed, we played, we grew,

We fell in Love ( Oh! How many times?) Once so many years ago. 

    Such great, great things. Great things as we plundered through the years,

Once so many years ago.

Once so many years ago, 14 can seem so old, so old we really thought we were,

    Once so many years ago—we thought we knew just everything, just all the-

The world was at our feet — boy we were really dumb, once so many years ago.

    Once so many years ago? Ha! Have we ever changed? This “sister” and l –

Have we changed from once go many years ago? This “sister” is my cousin, my

    Cousin, or did you know? This cousin that I loved so dear, so many years ago!

No we haven’t changed from once so many years ago—we haven’t changed, but years,

    Years have changed, changed us both, we’re not as near as once so many years ago.

But, Love? Yes love is there—is there any doubt it’s so? Any doubt it would not—

    Would not live—from once so many years ago? Oh yes – it lived, it lived and

And even grew – grew into a different kind of love from once so many years ago.

    We don’t climb trees, or run through orchards, or eat ice cream brunches,

Like once so many years ago. Or even sit on top of the bunk beds and play rummy —

    Yes, for hours, once so many years ago. There are so many things that over,

Over, over the years we’ve out-grown, since once so many years ago.  When we —

    When we were only 14, only 14, so many years ago and thought the world was ours.

Once so many years ago, are days l won’t forget, wouldn’t want to even If I could—

    Could forget those years – those years before we grew so fast and grew away—

Away each other in miles, in miles but never in thoughts, in miles but— 

    But once in a while. not often, but once in a while—a letter, a talk, a talk,

Once go many years ago – I had “sister-cousin” — once so many years ago, and yet

     Tho’ oh so many years have passed, I have that sister still—to share our—

Our thoughts, our loves, our disappointments, our sorrows, our plans for things–

    For things yet to come, to come to our children, things that maybe we missed.

We missed once so many years ago —Missed?  Us? No we didn’t miss out-out on any –

    On anything once so many years ago, because I had a sister to love and who–

Who loved me in return, even tho’ it was never said; said outloud, but still —

   Still was there and is today, the love, I have for her, Gladys, this sister –

Whom I love today and never see, oh, seldom, yes but

   Not like once so many years ago, when 14 was  just

Just the age to be — with Gladys

Once so many years ago.

HPVHA 2-16-78

Texas Full Day and Full Moon

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On my home after another Texas trip. Two days with my Mom and all day Friday with Paulette for her birthday. Not a  fun night out dancing with with the girls but a day together reminiscing  about the past, talking about the future and appreciating each other and the blessings in our lives.  I found the lyrics to this song from the musical “Gypsy”. I think it should be our theme song.

“Wherever we go, whatever we do

We’re gonna go through it together

We may not go far, but sure as a star

Wherever we are, it’s together…

Wherever I go, I know she goes

No fits, no fights, no feuds and no egos

Amigos, together!

Through thick and through thin, all out or all in

And whether it’s win, place or show

With you for me and me for you

We’ll muddle through whatever we do

Together, wherever we go”

We started with breakfast at Denny’s, then massages in Athens ( the blackeye pea capital of the World) , detoured at pecan factory ( bought some jalapeño pecan brittle), steakhouse dinner, and a tour of the old Corsicana Opera House built in 1905. The highlight there, just so you know you are in Texas, was the disco saddle. Texas version of the disco ball.  The tour was suppose to continue around the old buildings in Corsicana with anecdotes, tales of the unexplained and history of the past. However Paulette’s shoe broke and after the underwhelming performance of the ghost in the basement of the opera house, we left.

AB962842-0A58-4694-A76A-0694A9EACE8EIt was beautiful out with a full moon and we went for a drink before calling it a night. I wanted to take her picture with moon in the background and every picture I took showed a cross through the moon. I was using my phone and have photographed the moon before but no matter how I tried to refocus it was there.

A good end to a Friday the 13th under a full Texas Moon.