A Great Father

I want to take a moment this Father’s Day to share some thoughts about fathers.

As I’ve shared before, I did not have a stable father in my childhood. However, I did have dreams of one.

Andy Griffith – a great man who shared his values and beliefs through his work. He was my “Fantasy Father.” I didn’t have one of my own but if I could have picked one it would have been him.

Whether the real man was as he was portrayed I don’t know for sure but one thing I do know is that I married a man who would have fulfilled all those dreams for me. I know because he fulfilled them for my sons.

He has been a strong example and loving, patient father to the son I share with him and the two sons that came with me when he married me.

He stepped into a role that was not easy. Instant father to 8 and 12 year old boys. The older maybe a little apprehensive and loyal to his biological dad but the 8 year old welcomed him with open arms.

There were times of trouble and stress but he did not walk away. He could have easily said, “I didn’t sign up for this” and walked away. I am forever grateful he did not.

After 8 years, he became a father to his own son. He had already navigated adolescence and teen years, so he was now able to enjoy watching his son grow and explore the world in the early years.

Our son had trials of his own, the worst is the illness that brought him close to death several times. During this time, some 30+ years after we wed, he showed the same strength, wisdom and care that he had done so many years before.

One Father’s Day that touched my heart in the middle of this trial was in 2013. Our son had been in the hospital for nearly two months, after 3 surgeries, internal bleeding, malnourished, and immune compromised. He was in a fragile condition. Through it all, Chris was our tower of strength… he held us together. That Father’s Day I wrote:

Chris spent the weekend with J; talk about an awesome father. He has been the rock of strength on which we have all been leaning on.

During this entire ordeal Chris in addition to spending hours with us here and keeping up with work at SubTerra, he has driven around town feeding J’s fish, checking in at his office, picking up mail, even trepidatiously going to the data center to restart or service servers.

On this Father’s Day he came in with coffee and said the cafeteria lady told him his coffee was free if he had a picture of his son. He broke down in tears when he told me he showed her the one of him walking in the hall yesterday.

Nothing says I love you from your Father like emptying the urinal and holding you up as you walk.

This Father’s Day, he has the love and respect of all three of his sons. Fatherhood is not a cakewalk, it is a journey of changes, challenges, patience and unconditional love.

Thank you Chrissie for all that you have done to make our lives better.

Father’s Day Memories

Many warm wishes to all fathers out there today, especially to my sweet Chrissie. I wrote this ten years ago after our son had a health crisis and was in the hospital for over nine weeks. Chris was then and still is our rock, provider, and hero.

The midnight report, Sunday June 16, 2013

A pretty good weekend all in all.

Slowly removing IV medications as J is eating a little more. Thus far it seems PBJ’s are the food of choice, but hey whatever works. Dr. Menan says it takes a while to release old food phobias.

Taken several successful walks around the ward. Saturday and Sunday.

The incision is looking better, the fever is down as is the WBC.

I was able to get to the office on Saturday and pay the past due taxes and straighten out the payroll situation. Much love to Sho who chauffeured me again.

Becky brought homemade peanut butter cookies. Along with PBJ’s, a favorite at the moment.

Chris spent the weekend with [J]; talk about an awesome father. He has been the rock of strength on which we have all been leaning on. During this entire ordeal he, in addition to spending hours with us here and keeping up with his busy work schedule, he has driven around town feeding [J]’s fish, checking in at his office, picking up mail, even trepidatiously going to the data center to restart or service servers.

On this Father’s Day he came in with coffee and said the cafeteria lady told him his coffee was free if he had a picture of his son. He broke down in tears when he told me he showed her the one of him walking in the hall yesterday.

Nothing says I love you from your Father like emptying the urinal and holding you up as you walk.

Latest projections are that “maybe” if all progresses as planned, [J] could be released on Wednesday!! That’s my hope and prayer and from then on he improves by leaps and bounds each day.

Hope all you fathers out there had the opportunity to receive and give some love from your kids today. Hold them close and cherish each moment because as I posted on April 16, this quote from Lee Cowan a CBS reporter, “But they do remind us we don’t get to set life’s clock.While we may think we’ll have a tomorrow to say all the things we want to say, or should have said, what this week proved is that sometimes, that tomorrow doesn’t come — and the things left unsaid could end up one of our greatest regrets. “

Little did I know then the challenge that was to lie ahead in just a few short weeks. Thank you all for all your love, support and prayers. I cherish each and every visit, phone call, card and texts and encouraging word I/we have received.