Month: December 2024

And So it Ends

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The Lord’s acts of mercy indeed do not end, For His compassions do not fail. They are new every morning; Great is Your faithfulness. Lamentations 3:22-23 NAS

This year, as in many others, I have spent the past few days reflecting on the past twelve months… its joys and sorrows.  

The highlight of my year was in May when Chris and I went to South Africa on a trip with his college buddies and their wives.  I was a little apprehensive about the trip, not knowing anyone, but in the end I formed some awesome friendships.

The country of South Africa was so beautiful, the wildlife, the scenery, the people, the history, it was all an awe inspiring experience. So amazing I can’t believe I didn’t write about it. I did upload photos and some narratives as we travelled on my photo blog.

Part of the reason I didn’t write about my trip as soon as I returned, was because I was instantly plunged into a healthcare issue. I required surgery within only a few weeks that consumed all my time, concentration and energy.  Thankfully everything was sorted out with surgery and a few months of recovery time.

In September, I made a whirl wind trip to Texas starting in Austin. I visited my cousin Debbie in a nursing facility. I saw her daughter my 1st cousin once removed and her new baby (1st cousin twice removed). I had lunch with my friend Debbie just south of Austin. Then, I drove 170 miles to an area just outside of Houston.

That evening I had a lovely dinner on the shores of Lake Conroe with a lady who worked with me 26 years ago. It was warm night and so relaxing listening to the water lapping against the rocks. We laughed and shared stories together as if no time at all had passed.

The next morning I got up and met my niece for breakfast along with her mom and my three grand nieces. After breakfast, I drove north and stopped in Centerville for quick visit with a childhood friend. Finally, made my way to Corsicana to see my sister.

Paulette and I spent several days catching up and visiting friends and family. Together we completed a long overdue task at mother’s grave. After having driven over 600 miles in a week, I drove to Dallas and flew home. It was a full busy trip. I got home tired but with a heart full of love.

Sadly the review of every year ends with memories of those we lost. The most tragic loss for us was in November when 17-year-old son of a dear friend drowned. Hard to accept and understand why someone dies so young. 

Additionally, in the past month, two friends and my sweet cousin, Debbie, passed away.  I am so thankful I had that visit with her in September.

For the past several years, at the new year, I read the poem God Knows. A poem written by Minnie Louise Haskins in 1908. More about the poem and my thoughts in this blog post from 2020.

This is the end, and tomorrow I begin again looking ahead to 2025. I do so heeding the guidance given by Ms. Haskins.

“And I said to the man who stood at the gate of the year: “Give me a light that I may tread safely into the unknown.” 

And he replied: “Go out into the darkness and put your hand into the Hand of God.
That shall be to you better than light and safer than a known way.”

So I went forth, and finding the Hand of God, trod gladly into the night.

And He led me towards the hills and the breaking of day in the lone East.

So heart be still:
What need our little life
Our human life to know,
If God hath comprehension?
In all the dizzy strife
Of things both high and low,
God hideth His intention.

God knows. His will
Is best. The stretch of years
Which wind ahead, so dim
To our imperfect vision,
Are clear to God. Our fears
Are premature; In Him,
All time hath full provision.

Then rest: until
God moves to lift the veil
From our impatient eyes,
When, as the sweeter features
Of Life’s stern face we hail,
Fair beyond all surmise
God’s thought around His creatures
Our mind shall fill.

Christmas

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For 35 years Chris and I have celebrated Christmas with the same friends on Christmas day. One year quite by accident a tradition was born of writing a poem on Christmas Eve.

I have over 30 of these poems, some funny, some reflective, and some downright Scrooge-ish. In 2017, compiled all these poems into a book that I had printed and gave to some friends and family.

Over 20 years ago, I gave up all the traditional wrappings of Christmas, no tree, no lights, no cards, and no frantic preparations. However, I still find meaning and reflecting on the end of the year and the season of peace and hope. 

Sharing this poem from 2007 and wishing you all a very Merry Christmas and happy holiday season in whatever way you choose to celebrate. May you have joy, faith, hope, love and most of all Peace.

Sometimes Life Gets You Down

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I am down tonight, it has been building for weeks but tonight I feel it intensely. It is a combination of many things. 

The first week in November, the 17 year old son of a close friend died in a drowning accident. 

He was a bright, kind, and joyful child.  In his obituary his parents wrote;

“He will be remembered for his unmitigated joyfulness, his natural curiosity, and his wholehearted enthusiasm. He lived fully. In his seventeen years of life, he traveled extensively and visited many places including Belize, the Galapagos Islands, Fiji, New Zealand, and Samoa. He enjoyed exploring and experiencing the world… He loved camping and felt at home sleeping under the stars. He could be found cooking homemade meals for his family, teaching himself to play the piano, or gaming with friends. He did not squander his life. He stepped into it with a big smile and his wonderful curly hair, awake and wholehearted.”

No doubt many have heard, “No parent should ever have to bury their child.” It is true.

Secondly, my son who has been battling IBD and autoimmune pancreatitis for 14 years has been in the hospital for a month. He came home today, but he is not well. 

He was equally a charming child. He had a magical childhood as well. He traveled the world with us. He raised chickens (they were his pets), then he became interested in aquaculture. He formed a website for the reef community at 14, he started a computer cloud company at 20. He had a bright and promising future when IBD reared its ugly head. At 22, his colon perforated while he was in the hospital. He was bleeding internally. After 3 surgeries and 8 weeks in hospital he came home. A year later he nearly bled to death after a scope procedure and biopsy.  Then year after year it seems the problems just piled on. 

Today he is on a lot of medication, he’s in a lot of pain, and it seems the medical community has given up on helping him. It’s incredibly sad when you have to fight a disease and you have to fight the medical community too. 

I have prayed so many prayers for my son. The other day I pleaded with God, I asked, what is the answer? Is there anybody that can help him? So far the answers have not come. 

Added to this, I got a call this morning that my cousin died. I just saw her in September. She was five years older than me in the last 15 or so years we reconnected and became closer.  She was beautiful, she was intelligent, loving and kind.  

She was a RN and with continuing education, got her masters degree. She worked for years at the VA hospital in Albuquerque as a counselor.

Sadly, several years ago, she was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s and declined very quickly. 

When I saw her in September, she was unable to carry on a conversation. When I arrived, she looked up at me and smiled. I said to her, “Hi Debbie, it’s your cousin, Trish”  She looks straight at me and replied, “I know.”  That was the most comprehendible conversation we had that day. 

I asked her to take a picture before I left. I held up the phone and smiled to take a selfie.  She leaned her head over to touch mine and shut her eyes.

I am forever grateful for the visit that day. When I got home in Washington, I reflected on my visit with her. I felt she would grieve if she understood, she would not want to live that way.  I told my husband I never want to live that way.  Just existing with all dignity and autonomy lost. 

Finally, it is winter. It is dark, dreary and cold outside. I feel dark, dreary and cold inside.  

A slowly brewing state of grief, downheartedness, and sorrow in my soul. 

Praying this season in my soul passes quickly. When winter is over I pray I will see and feel the new hope of spring. 

Deborah Ruth – Rest in Peace

Exploring Comfort Food: My Favorite Meals

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All you have to do is look at me and know that I love food. There are some foods that I can bring to memory that I imagine I will never have the opportunity to savor again.

When I lived in Korea there was a dish called Bulgogi, meaning “fired meat.” It is thinly sliced marinated meat then grilled or stir-fried. It was so tender and sweet yet spicy.

In Florida, I loved the boiled peanuts you could buy at the roadside fruit stands. They were boiled in a huge kettle and the stand owner would scoop them out with a strainer and put them in a triple lined paper bag. I know it was not really a meal but after eating nearly the whole bag it felt like a meal.

Finally, I love Mediterranean food. One of the things to look forward to when traveling to Israel is the food. Especially shawarma, which is marinated roasted meat, a variety of picked or chopped veggies topped with garlic or tahini sauce all wrapped in a warm pita.

However, overall the best meal I have ever eaten is a combination of many meals I’ve had on Thanksgiving or Christmas Day. Roasted turkey, mashed potatoes, gravy, and yeast rolls loaded with butter. My mother would make southern cornbread dressing and celery stuffed with cream cheese and olives. She also made ambrosia, supposedly the food of the gods, made with many layers of sliced oranges, sugar, shredded coconut, and maraschino cherries. All this was topped off with sweet potato pie.

Maybe because we only had this meal a couple of times a year it made it special and highly anticipated. Unfortunately, the only thing that is low-calorie in this meal is maybe, the turkey!

I have never been able to duplicate my mother’s cornbread dressing but might have come close. In the past thirty plus years we have had a British Christmas dinner with friends. Still with roast turkey, mashed potatoes, gravy and yeast rolls loaded with butter, but the cornbread dressing has been replaced with Chris’s chestnut stuffing. Different, but awesome in its own way.

I have also experienced a new side dish, new to me anyway, it is called bread sauce. It is made with white bread, milk and spices. It sounds strange but is so good with turkey and gravy. The sweet potato pie is replaced with plum pudding, also known as Christmas pudding. Not a creamy pudding we think of but a combination of dried fruit (raisins, prunes, apricots, currants), suet, bread crumbs, eggs and spice all mixed together, aged and then cooked in a sealed container in a water bath. Plum pudding is something I have never acquired a taste for… It comes out looking like a dark brown to black fruit cake. It is doused in brandy and set afire then served with rum sauce. I do eat it though. I get a very small amount, drench it in the rum sauce and hold my breath and eat. I don’t let my lack of love for plum pudding spoil the day. It is all part of the tradition.

The thing that makes the Thanksgiving and Christmas meals taste even more awesome, if that is even possible, is the fact that over the years I have enjoyed it with many people I love. Everyone knows that everything’s better with loved ones beside you.