Month: October 2024

Rants and Raves

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Sadly, I try not to rant, but this is where I am…

My little town again… On Facebook there is a page called North Bend Rants and Raves. For weeks now people have been posting about the elections, calling each other names, making accusations about each other because of their political choices and generally spreading vitriol and hate.

I made a post where I said I was shattered because it seems civility and respect are dead. I linked a message from my blog with a verse that I wrote about hate and how it spreads. In the blog post, I mention my belief in God and how I believe ultimately God is in control. Two bible verses about hate were also quoted.

The post was up for a couple of days when one of the “moderators,” Jake, said it seemed like my post should been my personal page because it just about “god.” So I comment back that it was a rant about Hate in our community.

Within hours, my post was removed. So I made a new post that said something like this; Rant: You’re free to post here and spread any vitriol you want about anything and anyone, including your neighbors unless you mention God. I don’t have the exact wording because that post was blocked.

So the only rules on the page are: “This is a forum where you are welcome to post complaints and compliments about life in North Bend. Post freely, but don’t be an a-hole.”

I don’t think I was being an “a-hole.”

All I wanted to say was that after this election, we are all neighbors in the same community and we should respect each other’s views. Everyone’s views are formed by their life experiences and their perception of the world we live in. Our views do not make any of us more right than the others. In the end, I hope we can all come together and live as a community whatever the outcome.

I’ve thought about this for the past few days and I sadly have come to believe that my post, with the mere mention of God, was not something this moderator could accept. Even sadder, the only thing worse that saying something positive about Trump is supporting the belief in God.

I’d like to think that in seven days it will all be over, but I fear not because this divisiveness has been building for years and it may be too late to turn it around.

I still believe God is in control and I am thankful I can still say it here without fear of censorship.

How British Charm Won My Heart: A Love Story

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Today is officially mine and Chris’s 41st anniversary. Honestly, I cannot comprehend how time has flown by so quickly. When we were first married there were people making bets that it wouldn’t last a year. Well, we just had to prove them wrong! Tovah Feldshuh, American actress, singer and playwright gave this advice on marriage, “You know how to have a successful marriage? Shut one eye, and don’t leave. Some of it’s fun and some of it isn’t. It can be challenging, but you do not leave the field of play.” We are still on the field and here is the rest of the story.

I met Chris at work in August 1982. I was going through a divorce and started a new job at International Ground Support Systems in Denver. They did underground engineering consulting. It was a small company with three engineers, a welder, and two laborers. Chris was one of the engineers and when I started, he was working on a job in Cape Breton Island, Nova Scotia. He would check into the office daily, so we really met over the phone first. He, as anyone that knows him appreciates, is very out going and friendly and he has a great British accent. So naturally, I was instantly curious about this guy.

I had worked there about a month when Chris returned from Canada. The business was in a large metal warehouse and the front part was in a sectioned off into offices. I was in a small cubicle near the door with big windows to the outside and a small reception window inside. The first time I saw him, he came bounding through the front doors. He stopped at the reception window and poked his head through to introduce himself. He looked like he had been on an all night binge. He was disheveled, his clothes were wrinkled and when he smiled it revealed two missing teeth. NOT A ALL HOW I IMAGINED HIM! After he left I thought …hmm, maybe we could be good friends.

I don’t know exactly when my perception changed, but his charm did win me over. I know we were a couple by Thanksgiving because we had a big dinner at his house. There was a small issue though, and it was that technically, Chris was still married.

His English wife had left and gone back to England three years prior when he moved from Virginia to Denver. They had not been in contact for quite a while. Chris wanted to get married but had to locate her and somehow negotiate a long-distance divorce.

I still tease him because at one point he suggested we just get married because no one would know or care. Obviously this was before the internet and everyone’s personal life can be researched worldwide. I politely declined. I told him I did not want someone coming twenty years later and claiming everything and besides that was just wrong and downright illegal!

It did take a while but we were married a year later. I have to say that British charm and accent has opened many doors for Chris. When Josh was little he’d go to the store with Chris and come back to tell me that the lady at the store was flirting with daddy. He’d relate that the lady would say, “Ohhh… I do love your accent.” Seriously, it still happens all the time!

Yeah, the accent and charm may have drawn me in to start with but it is his intelligence, later his faith, his love and the care he gave to me and my kids, his generosity and his passion for helping others that has kept me in love with him. All those physical things I judged him by at first where just temporary surface distractions. Chris has been a loving and devoted husband and we have stayed faithful through the good times and the bad.

My most treasured Valentine card from him wasn’t a card at all but a letter that ends this way…

Slowly, many we love leave us. Then one day we wake up and our dearest is gone too.
    “That come the twilight should we lose our way
    If as we’re walking a hand should slip free
    I’ll wait for you,
    Should I fall behind
    Wait for me….” [1]
But having loved, we are not alone. We still talk to one another however one cannot hear the answers. At least not out loud. If we look around, we see the signs that, once known, love never dies.

The link below is from 15 years ago about on my thoughts on marriage.
https://emyloomwordswovenwithinmyheart.com/2009/10/08/marriage/

[1] Lyrics from Bruce Springsteen song . “If I Should Fall Behind”