Maybe I shouldn’t lump relationships into a country western song but I find myself walking away from long term ones. Two this year, and I sometimes wonder if like this verse from years ago, if it is just time, quite possibly, to run.

It brings a sense of sadness but also lifts a burden off my heart.

With the first, the beginning of the end started with a conflict of beliefs, very quickly I could see there would be no, “agreeing to disagree.” I have always lived by the motto, if you can’t say something nice, it is best to remain silent. So what started with a discussion, ended in my silence. When attacks began about my personal religious beliefs – about my salvation — about my son’s trials — that’s when I shut down.

The anger that ensued during the time I remained silent was vicious to the point I could not even read the messages that were coming. Each one proclaimed to be the last but they continued one after another. I did not understand how it turned into this, but I could not endure the damage to my soul and spirit any longer and without another word, I blocked her.

The second, is a woman 13 years my junior that I knew casually until she found herself expecting and single at 42. She never married and this child was her first and only. During this time and forward for many years, I provided emotional, practical and many times financial support.

It is hard to make it in this life. She was separated from her family and the child’s father dodged support in every way he could. Chris and I have always lent a helping hand for those who needed to get back on their feet. This young mom was no exception. However over the years it became a never ending story of drama after drama. There was always an elaborate story associated with the drama and I began to discover they were not always true.

Such is the case in the latest drama. A call that took Chrissie, in his 70’s, out in a winter storm to the mountain pass with a can of gas when in fact she knew she was not out of gas; it was a bigger issue that needed a tow.

Her drama and her issues came first to her, regardless of the risk to others. She knew I was upset after this four hour debacle. I have not heard from her in a month and I have not contacted her.

Now, I find myself thinking it is for the best. Quite possibly I have just been an enabler over the years.

After weeks of struggling with both of these relationships, after weeks of praying about how to respond, I believe I am lead to remain silent as the doors close on both. I have forgiven. I have written about relationships before many awesome ones and others that just didn’t work out. There are three types as the old saying goes, ones that are there for A Reason, A Season or A Lifetime. Perhaps with these two, I was in their life or they were in mine for a “Reason” and a “Season” but it is over now.

Lyrics: The Gambler by Don Schlitz
Photo by Dima Pechurin on Unsplash