Writer or Reader

Strangely enough, although I love to write, I am not much of a reader. I can read articles and short stories easily enough and I am a good researcher, but reading a big book cover to cover… I find difficult. When I try to read my mind gets lost in my own thoughts and wanderings. I find myself having to go back and reread pages, even chapters of the books. I have a hard time remembering characters and have to search back through the pages to find who they are and what they have done.

When I was nine, my Aunt Barbara gave me the book “Little Women.” It was a children’s book but possibly 100 pages. I started that book so many times and never finished. I would get lost in the illustrations of the beautiful March girls and I would trace over them and then color them myself. I think I was an adult before I ever finished that book. I recently gave it to my cousin, Beth. I received it the year she was born and my Aunt Barbara had written a note inside to me and dated it, Christmas 1964. When I gave it to her it had been taped together and the deep marks where I had traced the pictures were still evident. It had traveled the world with me for 54 years.

In 2003, I saw an interview with Mitch Albom, author of “Tuesdays with Morrie,” about his latest book, “The Five People You Meet in Heaven.” It was 196 pages and I figured I could conquer that. In short, I loved this book. It was about a man, Eddie, who had a series of tragedies in his life, from war to love loss and lived with a handicap. He was the maintenance man at an amusement park and felt he lived a mundane life and really had no purpose to his life. Eddie dies suddenly in an accident and finds himself not in heaven, but in a place where his life is explained by five people he encountered in his lifetime. Each one relays their experience with him. Some stories bring sorrow and others moments of joy.

In the end, the stories explain his purpose in life and why he was here. The experience answers many of the unanswered questions we all have in life. It shows us that in ways we do not even know, our lives impact others and we are all connected in ways we do not even understand.

I read this book several times. I bought copies of it and gave it to people. There was a time I would carry it on trips and read it on the plane…it was my travel book.

I have bought several books by Mitch Albom that followed, but never connected as I did with this one. The latest one was “The Stranger in the Lifeboat,” and I still need to read again. Even after giving it to my friend, Sho, to read and having her explain the intricacies; I still do not fully grasp the players and the meaning in the end. Comprehension is not my strong point I guess.

I have read other books but I would say one a year at the max. Finally, it goes without saying I read from my Bible every day. It gives me hope and strength when I need guidance but there are many things there I cannot comprehend as well. I am praying for the day I meet up with the Lord in Heaven and he explains the meaning of it all.

The one on the left is a copy I bought off of eBay and gave to a friend with daughters, the right was mine from 1964. I recently gave it to my cousin as it was given to me by her mom the year she was born.

Trish B – April 10, 2023

Drama

So much drama! I read the news, I look around me and it seems the drama is never ending and I want it to stop. It is exasperating. Yet, I wonder if the generation before me felt the same? I definitely had some strange ideas and beliefs when I was young.

Not only did I have some strange ideas, I also did some foolish things. There are things I would really like to forget, but they serve a purpose to remind me about how far I’ve come and what I have learned along the way.

This morning, I came across this poem I wrote in 2016. After reading it, I have some hope that one day, just as I did, these drama creators will look back and realize it was only a lot of drama.

Perception © by Trish B.

Father’s Day Memories

Many warm wishes to all fathers out there today, especially to my sweet Chrissie. I wrote this ten years ago after our son had a health crisis and was in the hospital for over nine weeks. Chris was then and still is our rock, provider, and hero.

The midnight report, Sunday June 16, 2013

A pretty good weekend all in all.

Slowly removing IV medications as J is eating a little more. Thus far it seems PBJ’s are the food of choice, but hey whatever works. Dr. Menan says it takes a while to release old food phobias.

Taken several successful walks around the ward. Saturday and Sunday.

The incision is looking better, the fever is down as is the WBC.

I was able to get to the office on Saturday and pay the past due taxes and straighten out the payroll situation. Much love to Sho who chauffeured me again.

Becky brought homemade peanut butter cookies. Along with PBJ’s, a favorite at the moment.

Chris spent the weekend with [J]; talk about an awesome father. He has been the rock of strength on which we have all been leaning on. During this entire ordeal he, in addition to spending hours with us here and keeping up with his busy work schedule, he has driven around town feeding [J]’s fish, checking in at his office, picking up mail, even trepidatiously going to the data center to restart or service servers.

On this Father’s Day he came in with coffee and said the cafeteria lady told him his coffee was free if he had a picture of his son. He broke down in tears when he told me he showed her the one of him walking in the hall yesterday.

Nothing says I love you from your Father like emptying the urinal and holding you up as you walk.

Latest projections are that “maybe” if all progresses as planned, [J] could be released on Wednesday!! That’s my hope and prayer and from then on he improves by leaps and bounds each day.

Hope all you fathers out there had the opportunity to receive and give some love from your kids today. Hold them close and cherish each moment because as I posted on April 16, this quote from Lee Cowan a CBS reporter, “But they do remind us we don’t get to set life’s clock.While we may think we’ll have a tomorrow to say all the things we want to say, or should have said, what this week proved is that sometimes, that tomorrow doesn’t come — and the things left unsaid could end up one of our greatest regrets. “

Little did I know then the challenge that was to lie ahead in just a few short weeks. Thank you all for all your love, support and prayers. I cherish each and every visit, phone call, card and texts and encouraging word I/we have received.

Just One More Time

Grandparents: the father or mother of a person’s father or mother. Like everyone else I had four, but saw only one more than once in my childhood, that one was my maternal grandfather who lived In Houston near where I grew up. My maternal grandmother and my paternal grandparents lived in Virginia.

My paternal grandfather, Aubrey Allen, died when I was 10.  The last time I was with him I was six months old just before my mother moved back to Texas. My auntie tells me he was a kind and loving man who struggled later in life with debilitating illnesses. My paternal grandmother,  Alease,  told me many times that the day we left Virginia he held me and cried saying, “They are taking my baby away and I am never going to see her again.”

I left Virginia as an infant, I did not return until I was 27. My Grandmother Alease, as well as my Aunt Thelma, stayed in touch with my mother throughout my childhood but my first memory of her was in 1968 when my brother graduated from high school and she came for a visit. She was 60 years old, eight years younger than I am now… funny how she seemed older.

Alease Virginia – 1983 – Age: 75

After that visit, I saw her once five years later when I lived in Florida and she came for a visit. We corresponded frequently but it was another 9 years in 1982, when she was 74, before we saw each other again. That year I visited Virginia for the first time since 1956 when my mother took me to Texas.  

That visit became the beginning of building a relationship and making up for lost time. I visited often after that, every couple of years. She loved me unconditionally and loved to tell me about the past. Even after all the years since leaving Virginia, she would tell me every visit with teary eyes, about Aubrey’s emotional goodbye.

In all the years I visited her, we would spend hours looking at photographs, talking about the past, sitting next to each other and just holding hands. She had some of the most amusing colloquialisms many of which I wrote down, so as never to forget. Saying like, “She ain’t got enough sense to pour piss out of a boot.” or “You can’t run the roads and keep house.”

She was resourceful and made good use of her time. Well into her 90’s she crocheted lap blankets for the “old folks” in the nursing home. She also crocheted dish cloths from cotton string yard. I still have several unused ones in my kitchen drawer. Saving them because —- I don’t want to forget.

My Grandma Alease passed away in 2006, at the age of 98. God gave us many years to catch up. Often, when I spoke to her phone in the 25 years before she passed, she would end the conversation by saying, “I just pray to God I can see you one more time before I die.” It became almost comical because I would go for a visit, and I wouldn’t be home more than a week, and when I spoke to her, she would say it again!

I went to Virginia the week before she died, and I spent time with her while she was in the hospital. The day I left, they moved her back to the nursing home under hospice care. Sometimes she was in and out of reality but when I lean down to kiss her goodbye she looked at me and said, “Hope I see you one more time.”

She passed into glory on April 12, 2006 on the first night of Passover the Wednesday before Easter. I flew back to Virginia to say my last goodbye. I know it is not the end because I will see her one more time, one time that will last for eternity.