Month: April 2023

Introverted

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I would, without a doubt, classify myself as an introvert living with an extrovert. I know several of my friends are surprised to here me say this because when I am comfortable with a small groups of friends, I do not appear that way but put me in a room with a group of people I do not know and I struggle to not be a wall flower.

When I was younger one might say I was timid. I would not even to walk up to a cashier and pay for an item. I lacked confidence and always felt self-conscious. I was raised to be seen and not heard and I have carried that with me most of my life. As the old saying goes, “Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak up and remove all doubt.”

Chris on the other hand is all Mr. Personality. He can join in with any group of people and feel right at home and additionally he is engaging and enchanting. A few years ago he ran a half marathon to raise money for the Crohns and Colitis Foundation. He had been training for three months and got to know his team very well. I went with him to the event in NAPA. There was an evening gathering where the team met over drinks and shared their IBD stories. I was an observer, I never said anything except maybe privately to Chris. The next morning we went to breakfast with three others. I was talking with one of the ladies when another lady looked at me and said, “Oh she speaks.”

It really hurt my feelings and did nothing to encourage me to continue speaking, but I get it, people think we are anti-social or snobs, but it is not true. I read this once about introverts.
“They are not antisocial, they just listening and observing. They can’t stand small talk but can talk for hours about life. They would rather be a home with a close friend than in a big crowd of acquaintances. Please don’t scold or embarrass them in public. Respect the fact that they are reserved and if they do open themselves up to you, know that it means you are very special to them. “ Unknown

As well as being an introvert, I would say I’m an anti-confrontational person. However, there have been times that I have been forced out of my shell to speak out and speak up, mostly for an injustice. These events might leave some invigorated and feeling free. They leave me drained and sad.

Susan Cain, the author of “Quiet Power: The Secret Strengths of Introverts.”

“Introverts, in contrast, may have strong social skills and enjoy parties and business meetings, but after a while wish they were home in their pajamas. They prefer to devote their social energies to close friends, colleagues, and family. They listen more than they talk, think before they speak, and often feel as if they express themselves better in writing than in conversation. They tend to dislike conflict. Many have a horror of small talk, but enjoy deep discussions.”

This may explain why I share so much on my blog that I would never voice to others. I am happy being who I am.

Why Not Easter?

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Someone asked me yesterday why I don’t celebrate Easter. When I was young and attended the Baptist church it was celebrated as the resurrection of Jesus but we also dyed and hid eggs. At Easter I would also get a new dress, shiney new white patent shoes, and sometimes a straw hat, Then when my children were little, we dyed and hid eggs and did those easter bunny things. That tradition as faded away as they grew older and their childhood faded too.

About 20 years ago, I began to attending a Messianic congregation and learned the significance of Passover as related to the death and resurrection. There they celebrated Resurrection Sunday. Which is the Sunday following Passover which interestingly enough falls in the same week this year.

Like Christmas, I feel Easter is a man-created day of celebration. In addition, the dates were set to closely following the winter solstice and spring equinox days which some believe where chosen satisfy the pagan beliefs as a substitute for their holidays they had celebrated at the same time.

The date for Easter was established by the Nicene Counsel in 325 AD. It is has no connection with the biblical time frame of the resurrection, i.e., Messiah held the last supper at a meal around the Passover time and he was represented as the sacrifice to redeem us from sin and bondage by his blood — just as a lamb was sacrificed and its blood placed on the doorpost to save the first born of the Hebrew people from death as the angel of death passed over their houses that were marked with the “blood of the lamb.”

See reference from Britannica below;

“Fixing the date on which the Resurrection of Jesus was to be observed and celebrated triggered a major controversy in early in which an Eastern and a Western position can be distinguished. The dispute, known as the Paschal controversies, was not definitively resolved until the 8th century. In Asia Minor, Christians observed the day of the Crucifixion on the same day that Jews celebrated the Passover offering—that is, on the 14th day of the first full moon of spring, 14 Nisan (see Jewish calendar). The Resurrection, then, was observed two days later, on 16 Nisan, regardless of the day of the week. In the West the Resurrection of Jesus was celebrated on the first day of the week, Sunday, when Jesus had risen from the dead. Consequently, Easter was always celebrated on the first Sunday after the 14th day of the month of Nisan. Increasingly, the churches opted for the Sunday celebration, and the Quartodecimans (“14th day” proponents) remained a minority. The Council of Nicaea in 325 decreed that Easter should be observed on the first Sunday following the first full moonafter the spring equinox (March 21). Easter, therefore, can fall on any Sunday between March 22 and April 25.”

So in the end, I celebrate nothing religious on days that were designated by men. It is just my own personal thing. I don’t judge or criticize or place any significance to anyone who revers this holiday or Christmas. It is my own personal conviction and belief.

There is more but I won’t jump down that bunny trail. So Happy Resurrection Day and however we celebrate or recognize it, we should do it with a sincere and thankful heart.

The entire Britannica article here:

https://www.britannica.com/topic/Easter-holiday

Life’s Surprises

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I think I have reached a point where nothing in life surprises me anymore, not even the extent of evil that exists in the world. Everyday I hear of a heinous crime and think there can be nothing more evil and yet it seems there is always something more. It is beyond shock and disbelief it now just brings sorrow and sadness.

With all the evil and trials that people face I believe an even greater surprise is the human spirit’s drive to go on. Some people have endured terrible losses, illness and tragic events and yet they find a way to go on and live productive lives and others seem to lose hope and fall into a deep abyss from which they cannot climb out.

These two opposing responses to life and its trials perplex me. Is it a conscious and continuing decision by those who overcome? Is this drive to overcome something we all have? Are these somehow stronger than others or do they rely on a higher power?

In my own life I have seen friends and family lose hope, they bury themselves in drugs and alcohol, they fall into deep depression and several have sadly taken their own lives. When I look back on my life, I see moments, periods of time, when I felt all hope was lost but I persevered. I have a notebook from the early 80’s in which I copied entire chapters from the book of Psalms. David often cried out to God about evil doers, injustice, heartaches and pain but he knew as I do…“And now, O Lord, for what do I wait? My hope is in you” Psalm 39:7

I have watched people that I thought were the strong and who had the most potential to be successful in life, succumb to defeat. One of life’s greatest blessings and it should be no surprise, is that I, meek, introverted, abused, uneducated have prevailed but, not I, but God with me. “Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” Isaiah 41:10

“Truly my soul finds rest in God; my salvation comes from him.
Truly he is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will never be shaken.” Psalm 62:1-2

As I wrote about “Life’s Surprises” I realized today is Passover. Examining my thoughts and one’s ability to persevere in hardship and not lose hope, I realized it is the story of Passover, the story of the Jewish people. Freed from 400 years of slavery, seeing God’s hand in their redemption and even though their hope faded at times they never lost hope. Since then they have been exiled, they endured the pogroms, they’ve been massacred and expelled from their homes and most horrifically six millions Jews were murdered in the Holocaust. Today, nearly 3500 years since the exodus from Egypt, the decedents of those that were freed are still facing hardship, trails, and persecution. Even through all these horrors, they are a people with hope, a people that are blessed with ingenuity and whose talents have blessed many the world over.

The Jewish National Anthem relays this hope. It is titled HaTikvah (“The Hope”)

As long as the Jewish spirit is yearning deep in the heart,
With eyes turned toward the East, looking toward Zion,
Then our hope -­‐ the two-­‐thousand-­‐year-­‐old hope -­‐ will not be lost:
To be a free people in our land,
The land of Zion and Jerusalem.