Yes, both of these subjects are constantly in my mind. What is the purpose of life and what is like to die? Where do we go?

Perhaps these in my mind because I have an elderly mother who is slowly losing her memories. I know she is getting old and she won’t be with me forever.   I know she wonders about death because her friend has told me she has asked  her what it might be like to die.

I wonder what it will be like when I lose my mother. Will I cry? Did I do all I do  for her out of obligation or love? Will I have regrets?

What about when my time comes?  I have regrets now. Things in my life I wish I could do differently. When I die will my soul be at rest? Will I rest in peace?

Does our essence (soul) live on on another realm?  Do we convey messages to living souls through a cosmic communication line that we have not even an infinitesimal amount of knowledge or concept of its existence?

I often, as I wander in these deep sentiments,  question whether there are lessons around us everyday that can give some insight into the unknown. Lessons that help us understand and carry us through circumstances or periods of grief and sorrow we will soon face.

Several times in my life I have had what one might called premonitions.   One of the first that had a lasting impact on me was when I was only 18 years old.   I lived far away from my family and I had this overwhelming feeling of doom and that someone I loved was going to die.  This went on for several weeks and I was always contemplating who it might be and sadly always hoping it might be someone I was not so very close to… however soon I was to know. A sister of my step-father’s. Although not related by blood at all, she  was a woman who loved me through a very difficult time in life. She was a shelter in my storm. When she was murdered by a jealous ex-boyfriend, I was devastated.   I grieved for weeks. The experience left me puzzled by the purpose of the premonition because it did not ease the sorrow.

Today, I heard this quote from a movie, “Rumors of Angels,” and I pray that it is true. I pray to leave this earth with excitement and glorious expectations of what lies ahead.

“The soul leaves the body as a school boy jumps from a school door, suddenly and with joy. There is no horror in death.”