Written October 8, 2009

I am not claiming to have all the answers to making a relationship work but here some of things I have discovered about Marriage. (Mine with DrB especially)

Twenty-seven years together and I was twenty-seven when we met. Half my life…amazing.

1+ prior to marriage, 26 years married, 18 years working 15′ feet apart!

~ Having common goals, common core beliefs and common values is important.

~ Honesty is important.

~ Some things are always going to be and it is better not to make a big deal out of the little stuff.

~ It’s OK for me to leave the toilet roll on top of the holder and it’s OK if he wants to put in on.

~ I am not necessarily wrong if I don’t agree with him and vise versa.

~ Expect to disagree.

~ Learn to recognize when things are getting too tense and back off.

~ Knowing that your friends that said you’d never last, were wrong is somewhat gratifying. Stay away from negative people they are quite often wrong.

~ Men need some space (I guess DrB gets some as he travels around) but even so if he wants to go fishing, boating, pursue his own interest it doesn’t mean he doesn’t care about me. And we don’t always have to do everything together. Followed by…

~ Trust is important.

~ Jealously is ugly… (unless of course it is done lovingly; like occasionally reminding him of the time he went to the movies with Marleah)

~ It is important to keep loving each other, when one or the other is being unlovable. We have both been recipients and givers of this.

~ The advice to “never go to bed angry” isn’t necessarily true. Sometimes getting a good night’s sleep can put a new perspective on the issue and for sure the sun will come out tomorrow.

~ At work, shutting the door IS sometimes necessary.

~ Dancing in the kitchen when no one is watching is nice. =)

~ Sharing bites of each others meals is good, letting me finish his beer or letting him finish my ice cream…also good.

~ Understanding that I can object to his business decisions, but knowing that he has the right to make them whether they turn out right or wrong.

~ Laughing at the fact that I know the ending to all of those old jokes.

~ Spontaneous expressions of love are more meaningful and sweet than the ones that are given because they are expected on specific dates.

~ The simple routines and traditions that we’ve built make the world seem not so crazy, like him putting coffee on the bed stand every morning or me washing his face with a warm cloth every night, him making breakfast on weekends, or me cutting his hair in my nightie.

~ Strangely enough we always more united and close when we are under attack from the outside.

~ Passion may fade but real companionship, commitment and love is everlasting..

~ Twenty-seven years goes by faster than you think…

My most treasured Valentine card from DrB wasn’t a card at all but a letter that ends this way…

Slowly, many we love leave us. Then one day we wake up and our dearest is gone too.
“That come the twilight should we lose our way
If as we’re walkin a hand should slip free
I’ll wait for you
And should I fall behind
Wait for me….”

But having loved, we are not alone. We still talk to one another however one of cannot hear the answers.
At least not out loud. If we look around, we see the signs that, once known, love never dies.

Quote Lyrics from Bruce Springsteen song .  “If I Should Fall Behind”